On The Run
by Sahara Rose 101
Summary: With their identies discovered by an unknown enemy, the team are sent into hiding in the middle of nowhere. Chaos ensues. A series of team centric oneshots. Multiple ships. E/N K/D C/K S/C etc.
1. Are We There Yet?

Chapter One: Are We There Yet?

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we-"

Kensi turned around in her seat, glaring daggers at her partner in the back seat of the oversized 4WD. "Deeks, if you say that one more time I'm going to climb over there and kill you."

In the passenger seat, Sam leant against the window. "Please," He muttered under his breath. They'd been in the car for three hours, on the run. Somehow someone had hacked the NCIS server and discovered their identities, effectively compromising all of their identies.

"Now, now children," Callen chided, not taking his eyes off the highway. "No murdering the in the backseats. You'll leave blood stains."

"And Hetty will kill all of us," Sam glared at them using the side mirror. There were two back seats in the 4WD, in order to fit all six of them in one vehicle. Eric sat directly behind Sam, oblivious to the world thanks to the music blasting out of his headphones. Kensi was on his right, behind Callen, and was still turned around to face Deeks, who was pulling faces at his partner. His faithful mutt was stretched out beside him, his scruffy head being patted by Nell while she stared out the window, not paying attention. "So sit down before you two cause an accident."

"Yeah, explain that to Hetty, Kensi," Deeks grinned, "Oops, sorry we didn't make it to the safe house in the middle of nowhere, we had a slight accident." Sarcasm dripped off his words like honey.

"Shut up, Deeks!" Kensi huffed and turned around, folding her arms tightly across her chest. Tensions were running high; everyone knew that. None of them liked being sidelined when their safety – and that of their agency- was at risk. None of them liked being sent to the middle of nowhere with no means of contacting the rest of the world.

"You know you love me," He reached over and ruffled her brown curls playfully.

Her response was not playful. Kensi's hand snaked out and grabbed his wrist, yanking him forward. His forehead hit the cushioned back of the seat.

"Ow," He pulled out of her grip and rubbed his head. "That wasn't called for."

"How many times do I have to tell you not to touch my hair?" Kensi asked, turning to face him again.

"Probably at least once more before the message sinks in," Sam supplied for Deeks.

"And now I'm remembering why I hated going on family trips," Eric spoke up suddenly. "Everyone always fights."

"You said you were an only child," Nell glanced at him. "Who did you fight with?"

"I have cousins. Evil cousins. Named Gertrude," The blonde techie shivered dramatically.

"With a name like Gertrude, I'd probably be evil too." Callen remarked, smirking slightly.

"So are we there yet? I'm starving." Deeks announced, leaning forward to rest his chin next to Kensi's face.

She slid over on the car seat, angling herself away from him. "Deeks…" She said warningly.

"What? I'm hungry. We've been driving for hours. We're probably in Mexico by now."

"Mexico's in the other direction. We're going west," Nell said, looking up.

"So where exactly is this safe house Hetty is sending us?" Kensi asked Callen.

"Don't know. She just gave me the instructions on paper. Said it was safer that way without any GPS. I think we're almost there though."

"We still have no idea how they compromised our system. Sneaky bastards. When we get back, I'm gonna give them hell." Eric promised, the tech glaring darkly into the distance. No one messed with his systems and survived in the cyber world.

"Easy tiger," Deeks said. "Could be months before we go back. Maybe years. We could never go back."

"Deeks," Callen glared at him, silently ordering him to shut up.

"What?" The blonde agent shrugged. "It's the truth. No point hiding from it."

"Hetty will sort it out. She always does," Sam said with a tone of finality. "We'll be home before we know it."

"Probably before Christmas," Callen added, trying to be hopeful.

Deeks rolled his eyes but stayed silent.

"We should do Secret Santa," Kensi spoke up suddenly, clearly trying to brighten the mood. "It'll be fun. We'll pick names out of a hat or something."

"Like we did in grade school," Deeks added, mockingly.

She whacked him on the side of the head, "Shut up."

"Make me," He challenged.

"It's on," Kensi undid her seatbelt and lunged for him, climbing over the car seat. Nell ducked down, narrowly avoiding being hit by Deeks as he dodged Kensi. Monty started barking, adding to the commotion in the car.

"Hey!" Callen yelled. "Driving here!"

"He started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"And I'm finishing it," Callen drove down and exit and parked in a car park.

Sam frowned, trying to read the neon lights on the building in front of them. "Pancake Manor?"

"Seriously? I love these places," Eric sat up and opened his door. "They have the best blueberry pancakes ever."

"Hold up," Callen held up a hand. "Ground rules. Cash only. Fake names. No making scenes," He looked pointedly at Deeks and Kensi.

"Got it. Come on Fern," Deeks pushed the middle seat so they could get out of the back seat. "I'm so hungry I could eat a cow."

"You are so not calling me Fern," Kensi replied.

"Race you to the front door?" Deeks asked playfully. "Fern?"

"Grow up," She rolled her eyes at him but linked arms with him as they walked to the entrance.

"Why do I feel like I've let the kids run wild?" Callen asked rhetorically.

"Cos it's Deeks." Sam answered.

"We are safe here, right?" Eric asked, helping Nell down from the 4WD.

"Yeah. 'Course," Callen nodded, reassuring both techies with a small smile. "Deeks is one of the best, no matter how much of a pain he can be."

"I heard that!" Deeks crowed from the entrance where he and Kensi were waiting. "Hurry up!"

"Best not to keep him waiting," Callen started walking over. "What's the cover story?"

"Family reunion?" Sam suggested.

"Okay," Callen nodded.

"I'm so adopted," Eric whispered to Nell.

She punched softly him in the arm, "Eric."

"What? Would you choose to be part of this?" He looked over to where Kensi and Deeks were bickering and Callen and Sam were talking to each other.

Nell shrugged, "Why not. There's worse families."

"True," He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and walked over to the rest of the team. "This poor restaurant doesn't know what it's in for."

**A/N: I had this idea a while ago but didn't have the time to write any of the one shots down. But now I do. Sorta (If I pretend homework doesn't exist). This one's rushed and I think a bit OOC. Deeks kinda took over this one but the others are more team centric and/ or ship centric. It's all kinda mixed ships and stuff. Tell me what you think of this. The more feedback I get the more I write. It's just how I roll. **


	2. Haunted House

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS:LA. Seriously, you don't need to be Hetty to work that out. **

**A/N: Thank you for all the amazing reviews and favourites. I wasn't expecting that many for my first NCIS:LA fic. Love you all!**

**Two: Haunted House**

Callen drove up the small dirt road, "Here we go. Home sweet home."

"Are you serious?" Sam looked at the creaking wood shack in front of them. In the moonlight, they could see the porch running around the outside of the front and the wide open front door.

"Am I the only one that's hearing spooky horror film music in my head?" Eric asked no one in particular as they stared at the house they were exiled to.

"Guys," Callen turned in his seat to face them. "It could be worse. We're off the grid here. Short of a satellite network they can't find us here. Think of it as an extended vacation."

"My vacation plans don't normally include staying in a place that looks like the big bad wolf could finish it off," Deeks said darkly.

"Deal with it," Sam told him, his patience wearing thin.

"Anyone else got a torch?" Callen asked, holding up the NCIS issue torch he'd stashed in the car. With only five minutes warning, there wasn't time to grab much.

"Yes." Sam and Kensi held up miniature torches on their key rings.

"Okay, Sam and I will go in first. When we give the all clear, you can come in." Callen got out of the car, not waiting for a reply. Sam followed quickly, moving in tandem with his partner.

"Yes sir," Kensi mock saluted their retreating backs.

"You know if this were a horror movie then Sam is a gonna."

"Deeks…"

He shrugged, "Just saying. The number two guy is always the first to go. Next is the hot one – sorry Kensi."

"Then you?" Kensi quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Maybe. There's two possibilities. It could be the handsome, plucky comic relief or one of the geek squad. Of course, either person gets a really bad death. Totally painful. Lots of blood."

"Deeks? Can you shut up? Please?" Nell asked, her voice small. Everyone glanced at her; she'd never said anything like that to any of them before.

"Shutting up," Deeks nodded and closed his mouth.

Eric put a hand on Nell's arm, "You okay?" He whispered.

"Yeah," She nodded, biting her lip. She was okay as she could be under the circumstances.

"So… Anyone know any camping songs?" Eric asked, trying to brighten the mood.

"If you start singing kumbaya, I will scream," Kensi warned as Deeks opened his mouth.

"Then no, I don't know any."

A high pitched scream tore through the darkness.

"What was that?" Nell straightened, panicking.

"Sounded like Kensi," Deeks said, glancing at his partner.

"Wasn't me. I'm right here."

"Obviously."

"It came from the house," Eric supplied, watching it avidly through the window.

"Come on Deeks," Kensi jumped out of the car. "Eric, Nell you stay here."

"No way. We're coming with you," Eric replied, getting out.

"Fine," She didn't have time to argue. "Just stay behind us."

They crept silently up the drive, guns and torches drawn. Deeks opened the door, Kensi positioned behind him. "LAPD!" He yelled, "Free… What the hell?"

In the pale torchlight, they could see Sam perched on the kitchen table, torch pointed to the floor. "There's a rat in here."

"A rat?" Kensi echoed.

"You screamed?" Eric couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. "Dude you scream like a girl."

"It was a big rat," Sam glared at the young tech.

Deeks slid his gun back into the waistband of his jeans, "Awww. Is the big bad SEAL afraid of an itty bitty rat?"

"A non-existent rat," Callen added, coming back into the room. "Sorry Sam, I couldn't see anything."

"All clear?" Kensi asked for clarification.

"All clear," Callen nodded.

"Good," She holstered her gun, "Are you coming down from there any time soon, Sam?"

"I didn't imagine it," Sam glared at his partner.

"I didn't see anything," Callen shrugged.

"Then you need your eyes tested."

"Rats?" Deeks could help but smile. "You're afraid of rats?"

"They're vermin. They cause disease!"

"They carry disease, they don't cause it," Nell corrected him out of habit. "Sorry," She added sheepishly when Sam looked at her.

"It's fine," Callen reassured her. "We're all a little tense after today," He looked at all of them. "We're going to sleep then deal with tomorrow when it comes. Okay?"

"Shot bags not sleeping on the couch!" Deeks called.

"There's three bedrooms-"

"Shot bags not sharing with Deeks!" Kensi parroted her partner's words.

"And we can share," Callen finished, glaring at Kensi for her interruption.

"The room on the east side is mine," Sam declared and jumped down off the table.

"Kensi, Nell you two can pick one and Deeks and Eric will have the other," Callen organised them.

"Okay, come on Nell," Kensi steered the younger woman down the hall to their left. "We'll leave the pink room for the boys."


	3. Good Morning Sushine

A/N: Thank you for all the amazing reviews and favourites/alerts etc. You guys rock!

3: Good Morning Sunshine

Callen walked through the small country house, memorising every creak in the floorboards and whistle of wind. There was no telling when that information would become useful.

"All good?" Sam opened the creaking back door.

"Yeah," Callen nodded. "All good."

"Catch," Sam tossed him an orange and deposited a couple more on the wooden table in the lounge/dining/kitchen. "There's a couple of fruit trees out back."

"Good. There's no food in here. Two of us are going to have to go back and buy supplies."

"Not me," Sam sat down on the loveseat under a cracked window. "My butt still hurts after those potholes yesterday. The suspension in that car is shot to hell."

"We'll swap it out for a newer one then," Callen rolled his eyes, "Anything to keep you happy."

"By swap, you mean steal, don't you?" Sam asked his partner, knowing how the former foster kid's mind worked.

Callen shrugged, "You know what they say: you can take the kid off the street but you can't take the street out of the kid."

"Yeah. Excuses. Excuses."

Deeks walked into the room, shrugging on his t-shirt. "Morning."

Sam glanced up, "Look who it is – the snoring steamroller."

"You know you could have warned us. Sam has a very delicate sleep schedule," Callen smirked, enjoying the indignant look on their liaison's face.

"Wasn't me."

"Riiight," Sam drawled disbelievingly. "It was Nell."

"No, Eric," Deeks dropped into the armchair by the empty fireplace. As if to prove a point, a loud snore echoed down the hall. "You know, I'm really feeling the love here. Whenever something goes wrong, you always blame me."

"Because normally, it is you," Sam retorted.

"Is not."

"Who stole the last two doughnuts on Monday?" Callen countered, raising an eyebrow. It was practically a rhetorical question.

"That," Deeks waved a finger at them. "That was different – Kensi wanted them."

"Right," Sam rolled his eyes. "Blame your partner. Great tactic. Really builds up the trust."

"Hey," Deeks said, holding up his hands in the universal gesture of surrender. "If I've got a choice between pissing you two off or pissing Kensi off, I'm gonna choose you two."

Callen looked to Sam, "Did he just imply that Kensi is scarier than the two of us?"

"Yep," Sam nodded, almost proudly. "That's our girl."

"Just for that, you can go wake her up," Callen added.

"Come on guys," Deeks implored, "She's like a grizzly bear in the mornings. You know that."

"Should've thought of that before you stole my doughnuts," Callen tsked, shaking his head.

"Our doughnuts," Sam corrected.

"Semantics," Callen shrugged, setting back and peeling his orange.

"This is cruel and unusual punishment," Deeks declared. "And they weren't even that nice a doughnut."

"We wouldn't know; you are them," Sam reminded him with a predatory smile.

"You might want to hurry up. You know she gets mad when her blood sugar's low."

"Cruel and unusual punishment," Deeks muttered, brushing past Callen as he stalked down the hallway.

**NCIS: LA. NCIS: LA.**

Eric turned the door handle then spun to face Deeks, "Why do I have to do this again?"

"Because Kensi won't hurt you as much as she will me," Deeks replied in a near whisper. "Now hurry up."

"Forgive me if I'm not in a hurry to speed up my execution," Eric hissed back. "Have you heard what she did to Renko when he woke her up after a 48 hour stakeout?"

"Who's Renko?"

"Obviously not," Eric shook his head and opened the door. "Nell? Kensi? You guys awake?"

Silence was their reply. Eric peered in and nearly smiled at the sight. Nell was curled up into a ball, barely balancing on the edge of the mattress. It was the first time he'd ever seen the petite redhead still. Kensi, on the other hand, was spread out over the double bed, face down. If it wasn't for the twitch in her foot and breathing, he would say she was dead.

"Good morning Sunshine!" Deeks boomed, crossing the room to pull back the curtains.

Kensi hissed, rolling over. "Deeks!"

"You know it's funny how much meaning you can pack into one word," Deeks remarked, grinning at his groggy partner.

"I'll pack you in a minute," She glared at him, shading her mismatched eyes with her hand. "What time is it?"

"Daytime," Deeks answered curtly.

"I know that, genius," Kensi rolled to the edge of the bed and stood up. "Time."

"Ah," Eric checked his watch. "10:27."

"Thank you Eric," She smiled tightly at the tech before reaching over to prod the sleeping analyst. "Nell wake up."

Nell opened an eye, "I was hoping this was a bad dream."

"Nope," Eric said. "It's real."

"Reality sucks," Kensi grumbled and walked out of the room. "There better be coffee."

"There's oranges," Deeks followed her.

Nell sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Hi," She glanced up at Eric.

"Hi," He sat down on the edge of her bed. "I'm just gonna stay here for a minute."

"Why?"

"There's no coffee. And Kensi and Callen don't do well with no coffee."

"Ah," She nodded knowingly. "Right."

"No hot chocolate either," He added, remembering her favourite.

"Awsomer," Nell said,

"There's a library though," Eric smiled at the way her eyes lit up. She'd been too quiet for his liking yesterday. "More of a massive book shelf but still, its something since we're gonna be stuck here."

She picked at the edge of the blanket, "How long do you think we'll be here?"

"Honestly?" He asked and she nodded. "A while. Whoever these guys are, they pack a mean punch. You saw them run through our system – they knew what they were doing."

Nell sighed then pushed away the edge of the blanket. "I guess I'd better get used to this then."

Eric looked at her, "This?"

"Well that," She pointed out the door when voices were beginning to rise.

"Oh that," Eric shrugged. "You'll get used to it pretty quickly. Just ignore it till you hear death threats."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. I usually hide behind Hetty then," He smiled at her, letting Nell know he was joking. Sorta. "Na. Come on," He grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "Into the lions den."

**NCIS: LA. NCIS: LA**

"There's no coffee?" Kensi repeated.

"Nope," Callen shook his head.

Sam tossed her an orange, "Have this. It's better for you."

She pulled a face at him. "So there's no food, seriously?"

"Seriously." Deeks nodded.

"You two are gonna go shopping and pick up enough supplies to last us a week," Callen declared, making up the plan on the fly.

"Callen, the closet mall is three hours away!"

"Well then, we'd better start driving, Sunshine," Deeks picked up the keys from the table. "Bags driving."

"You cannot," Kensi walked over to Callen. "Send me with him, in the car for three hours. Without coffee."

"Look at it this way, you get coffee when you get there." Callen smiled at her.

"See, win win," Deeks said, "Now hurry up. I'm starving."

"Deeks, we don't have any money," Kensi reminded him.

"Yeah, forgot about that. Be imaginative," Callen said mysteriously.

"Imaginative?" Kensi echoed. "You mean steal?"

"If you keep a record of names, we can reimburse them," Eric said as he and Nell walked in.

"So it really wouldn't be stealing, would it?" Nell asked.

"No, more like a creative loan," Callen nodded.

"Be back in 8 hours," Sam ordered sternly. "And swap the car – the suspension annoys Callen." He grinned at his partner who shook his head.

"I love this job," Deeks grinned.

"You like lying. And now, apparently stealing." Kensi said as they walked out the door. "And I'm driving," She snatched the keys out of his hand.

"Hey! Not fair!"

**A/N: ****Next chapter: Deeks and Kensi go shopping. Anyone else already feeling sorry for the storeowners? **

**Reviews are love. And the world needs love. **


	4. And This Little Piggie Went To Market

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA. If I did, Nate would be in it more and there would be more shipping moments. **

**4: And This Little Piggie Went to Market**

"What about her?"

"No."

"Him?"

"No?"

"Come on Kens," Deeks turned to his partner imploringly. "Work with me here."

"Fine," Kensi snapped, crossing her arms. "Him. Your two o'clock."

Deeks glanced at the man in the black suit she'd chosen. "A lawyer? Don't you think that's a bit cliché?"

"I hate lawyers," Kensi said over her shoulder as she ambled, hips swinging, towards her target.

"I'm a lawyer," Deeks reminded her as he hurried after her.

Kensi smirked, "Case in point."

"Come on Princess, you know you love me," Deeks tugged at her hand, his voice rising.

She caught onto what he was doing immediately. "I said no, Jeremy," She yanked her hand out of his grasp. Out of the corner of her eye she watched people stare at their outburst.

"But… but," Deeks stammered. "I love you!" He gave her a smouldering look that he swore made women weak at the knees.

"You cheated on me!" Kensi yelled, getting into the role of the angry girlfriend. Not that it took much to pretend she was angry with Deeks.

"I didn't mean to! She kissed me."

"Whatever, I'm out of here," Kensi turned, almost running away. As she moved, she collided with the lawyer. "Sorry," She mumbled as her fingers deftly delved into his pocket and removed his wallet.

"It's ok," He replied, his eyes falling just below her face.

Kensi fought the urge to roll her eyes as she walked away. _Men._

"You have a thing about people cheating on you, don't you?' Deeks leant against their car, waiting for her.

"It makes a scene," Kensi shrugged.

"Yeah," Deeks nodded. "An old lady hit me with her bag and said I was despicably deplorable."

"Do you even know what that means?"

"I did pass my SATs, thank you very much."

"You didn't answer the question," Kensi said as she got into the drivers seat.

"You're deplorable," Deeks retorted and grabbed at the roof of the 4WD for support as she swung wildly out of the car park. "And you're driving is despicable."

NCIS:LA. NCIS:LA. NCIS: LA.

Deeks tossed another chocolate bar into the trolley. "Now we've got the five food groups: Chocolate, rum, beer, scotch and cheerios. Can we go now?" They walked down the junk food aisle of a small supermarket, picking out random items.

"No. Sam would kill us if we came back with this," Kensi said as she kept walking. "And they are not the five food groups."

"They work for me," Deeks shrugged.

Kensi poked his stomach, "Not entirely," She smirked a little at his indignant reaction.

"At least I'm not the one that eats my feelings."

"I do not," Kensi bristled.

"You know the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem."

"Did they teach you that in Annoying People Anonymous?" Kensi asked with fake cheerfulness.

"Ha ha, very funny," Deeks rolled his eyes. "What else do we need?" He changed the topic.

"Food. Healthy stuff probably or Sam will throw a fit," Kensi leant on the bar of the trolley as she turned into the next aisle. "Pasta's good."

"Pasta it is," Deeks grabbed a couple of packets of penne off the shelf. "I just realised – we don't have a microwave. How are we going to cook?"

"Well, there's this thing called an oven and its friend is called stove," Kensi said sardonically.

"Oh, so you can cook can you?" Deeks asked, knowing full well his partner burnt water.

"Hell no. But Nell can. Sam's pretty good too."

"Nell cooks?" Deeks asked, surprised. He didn't know much about the intelligence analyst. "And how do you know that?"

"We've had dinner together a few times," Kensi shrugged nonchalantly.

"And you didn't invite me?" He stuck out his bottom lip, faking sad.

"It was a girl's night," Kensi put a hand to her head. "Oh sorry, you're right. We should have invited you."

Deeks rolled his eyes. "Mocker."

"Sulker," Kensi retorted lightly, picking up a packet of spaghetti.

"So what do you do on these girls nights?" He siddled up to her. "Braid each other's hair, do manicures, tell dirty stories?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"I have so many images in my head right now."

Kensi shook her head. "Urg, I don't want to know."

"What about this?" Deeks held up a packet of instant macaroni and cheese. "I love this."

"It's got the alphabet on it," Kensi frowned. "How old are you?"

"Well," he drawled, "I got mistaken for a 25 year old last Saturday night."

"And how drunk was that co-ed?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Pretty smashed," He admitted. "But it still counts. And we're still buying it," Deeks took out the wallet they'd 'borrowed'. "Or rather Chester Westfield is buying it."

Kensi checked her watch, "We're running late. You finish up here and I'll grab the car."

"Yeah, leave me to do all the hard work.

"Well, I don't look like a Chester," She retorted and left before he could say anything.

Deeks looked down at the bright blue packet, "Looks like it's just you and me. Like always."

NCIS: LA. NCIS: LA. NCIS:LA

Kensi jogged down the road by the supermarket she'd left at the mercy of Deeks. They couldn't steal a car from there – it could make a pattern that someone could track. She turned down a small side street and smiled at what she saw practically calling for her. Sometimes it was just too good.

_Fun time._

NCIS: LA. NCIS: LA. NCIS:LA

Deeks walked out of the supermarket, pushing the nearly overflowing trolley. He paused, looking for his partner.

"Over here!" He heard Kensi call.

He turned to look and his jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw what she was driving. "You've got to be kidding me."

A multicoloured, patterned hippie van was parked opposite him and his straight laced partner was sitting inside, smiling widly at him. It was like something from one of his nightmares.

"Hurry up," She yelled at him. "We haven't got all day."

"What happened to flying under the radar?" Deeks asked as he strode over.

Kensi shrugged, "Sometimes standing out works better."

"Yeah, I'll let you explain that to Callen."

**A/N: I don't like how this one turned out. I blame the 5000 word report on discourses and reader positioning. (If you have no idea what those words mean, consider yourself lucky.) I have a better idea for Sam and Callen shopping though. (grins evily) Though the next update will be something different. Anyway, reviews are like chocolate chip cookies. You can never ever have enough. **


	5. What Dreams Are Made Of

**Thank you for all the reviews XD Keep sharing the love people! **

**5: What Dreams Are Made Of**

Callen leant against the doorframe, arms folded, watching. Nell sat cross-legged on the floor, opposite the fireplace, staring into the flickering light. She hadn't moved a muscle in the five minutes he'd been watching, making him worry more. Kensi had mentioned that the analyst was quieter than usual and barely sleeping.

"You're up late," He said softly. She jumped visibly but didn't scream. Callen was glad for that – Eric would have given him an earful. "Normally I'm the only one crazy enough to be up this late. Or early, depending on how you look at it."

"Couldn't sleep," She couldn't meet his eyes either; she kept them focused on the fire in front of her.

Callen settled himself on the sofa. "Insomnia. Welcome to the club."

"Is there a T-shirt?" Nell asked sarcastically before backpedalling. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…" She turned to face him and he could see the tear tracks running down her face.

"It's fine," Callen smiled reassuringly. "Sarcasm is what I'm used to."

She fell silent, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment.

"You know talking helps," Callen said suddenly.

"Did Nate tell you that?" Nell looked at him.

"Probably. Sounds like something he'd say," Callen shrugged. "I've had to deal with a lot of shrinks."

"Did it help? Talking?"

"Kinda. Getting completely hammered also worked."

She smiled a little, "I'm guessing that wasn't Nate's idea."

"No," Callen returned her smile. "But it worked. For a day or two. I'm just trying to say that you don't have to keep everything bottled up."

Her green eyes narrowed, "What did Kensi say?"

"How do you know that Eric didn't say something?" Callen countered, suddenly remembering that their analyst actually did what her title suggested unlike their liaison. And she did her job exceptionally well.

"Because Eric would talk to me," Nell said simply. "And everyone else is just looking at me like a piece of china."

"We don't…" He trailed off as she gave him a pointed look. This conversation was proving her argument. "We care, okay?"

"I know, you're like the four musketeers."

Callen frowned. "I thought it was three."

"Everyone forgets d'Artagnan," Nell shrugged. "Porthos, Aramis and Athos," She listed the others. "There's four."

"All for one and one for all," He shrugged, "Probably are. Which means we look out for each other."

"I've noticed," Nell said dryly before looking back to the fire. "I'm okay, really. "It's just…" She sighed and he waited patiently for her to continue. "You probably think this is stupid but this will be the first time I haven't gone home for Christmas."

"You miss your family," Callen realised, feeling a pang of jealousy.

"It's silly, I know. We're hiding out in the middle of nowhere and I'm crying over not watching my cousins kill each other. Nate would probably say I'm transferring my fear but…" She trailed off, closing her eyes to stop more tears from falling.

"Having a family isn't something to be ashamed of."

"Oh, Callen. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, Nell," He held up a hand to stop her stammering apology. People always got touchy when they brought up family around him; he was long since used to it.

"I shouldn't have said anything.

"Nell. Calm down. I do have a family. I have Sam. I have Hetty and Kensi. You and Eric. And even Deeks – on a good day of course."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Callen offered her a lopsided smile. "You don't know how to appreciate something unless you don't have it, right?"

"I guess." It was a lesson she was learning the hard way.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way," Callen said to more himself than to her, as if he was trying to convince himself.

"You don't want to know anymore?" Nell asked, surprised.

He took one look at her and realised, "Hetty had you look into my sister didn't she?"

"Yes," Nell didn't even try to lie.

"You didn't find anything," It was more of a statement than a question. She would have told him if she found something. Hetty would have told him.

"Nothing new," She shook her head dejectedly.

Callen nodded then stood up abruptly, "I feel like some tea, how about you?"

"Ah, sure," Nell blinked at the sudden offer.

"Just don't tell Sam – he'll get jealous."

Nell rolled her eyes.

"No, seriously. He will," He walked over to the kitchenette and put the kettle on.

"Okay," Nell smiled.

"You know, Hetty is right about tea," Callen said as he put the tea bags in two mugs.

"Hetty is always right," She replied with a small smile.

"True," Callen nodded and carried over two cups, giving one to Nell. "But I still think coffee is better."

"Why didn't you make coffee then?" Nell took a sip, careful not to burn herself on the steaming beverage. It was sweeter than she expected but then she should've readjusted her expectations. The team rarely did what was expected of them.

"Because we," He gave her a pointed look, "Need to sleep."

She shrugged. "We pull all-nighters all the time. It's no big deal."

"It is if you're afraid to sleep."

"What?" She froze, her expression that of a startled deer in the headlights.

"You lie better than I expected," Callen took a sip of tea.

"I didn't lie."

"Okay, you told me half the story," Callen corrected himself. "Enough to cover yourself, not enough to open yourself to danger. I'm impressed, actually. But, come on Nell. It's me. I know when Hetty is lying."

She quirked an eyebrow at that. "All of the time?"

"No," Callen admitted petulantly. "But you aren't Hetty."

"No," Nell agreed almost ruefully. "If I was Hetty, I wouldn't be so stupid."

"Stupid?" Callen echoed, confused. Stupid wasn't a word he'd use.

"I'm afraid to sleep," She explained honestly. There wasn't any point trying to hide it. "It's stupid. Everyone has to sleep – it's inevitable."

"People are afraid of dying," He rebutted quickly. "That's inevitable."

"But that's understandable; you don't know for certain what exactly is going to happen. You know what happens when you sleep. You know the dreams aren't real."

"They feel real."

"But they're not," Nell argued, running a hand through her hair. "It's stupid to be afraid of your own imagination."

"Well then I guess we're all stupid then," Callen leaned forward and tried to be reassuring. "We're all afraid of the dreams. We just learnt how to deal with them."

She traced the edge of the mug with a finger. "How do you deal with them?" She looked up, almost childlike with her desperate plea. Sometimes he forgot how young she was. How innocent.

"By facing them," He said simply, looking her in the eye.

"Yeah, that's gonna work." Nell said dryly. "I'm too scared to sleep. I can't face them if I'm not seeing them."

"You will," The confidence in his tone made her look at him suspiciously.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing," He gave her a wide eyed innocent look that had gotten him out of more than one sticky situation.

She took a sip of tea, still watching him guardedly. Then it clicked. "You…"

"Yep."

"That's illegal."

"Yep. Works though," He smirked a little. "Of course, Kensi didn't talk to me for a week afterward. I don't think you have that option though, given that we're stuck in this tiny house."

It was almost like he'd issued her a challenge. "Wanna bet?"

"No," Callen shook his head. "I'm not an idiot. I know better than to bet you or Kensi that you can't do something. You're stupidly stubborn sometimes."

"Pot. Kettle," Nell looked at him.

"Yeah. Yeah," He waved his hand at her. "Drink you're tea."

Panic entered her eyes. "But I don't want-"

"You'll feel better in the morning. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Nell. Now drink," He gestured to the tea he'd tossed with a sleeping pill.

Nell glared at him defiantly for a moment then softened. "I can see why people are scared of you," She drank the rest of the tea in one go, making a face at the sweetness of it.

"Me?" Callen chuckled. "I'm a teddy bear."

"If a teddy bear had retractable claws," Nell retorted, her eyes growing heavy.

"Now now, no need to be insulting," He chided, almost playfully.

"Sorry," Her eyes fluttered closed and her breathing evened out.

Callen waited until she was completely asleep before taking the china mug out of her hands.

"What's Hetty going to say about you drugging her favourite intelligence analyst?" Sam walked, leaning against the doorframe in the exact same position as Callen had earlier.

"It was either that or watch her start to burn out. You know how short lived analysts can be."

"Not really," Sam shrugged. "She's the first to last this long. But I see your point. She'll be okay?" It was a mix of a question, a statement and a hope. He hated it when any of his team hurt in anyway.

"As good as the rest of us. Which isn't saying much," Callen added as an afterthought.

"Speak for yourself," Sam shot back.

"Admit it, you're just as screwed up as me," Callen smirked at his partner. "It's why we get along so well."

Sam scoffed, "Whatever G."

"Yeah, whatever. You got the second shift?" Callen asked as he stretched.

"Yep. You go get your beauty sleep. You're starting to scare the kids."

"Ha ha," Callen drawled, rolling his eyes. "Don't quit your day job."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sam grinned. "After all, someone has to keep you alive."

"I'm doing a fine job by myself, thank you very much."

"Yeah, real fine," Sam said sarcastically.

"Sometimes you can be a pain the ass, you know that?" Callen said as he walked away.

"Love you too man," Sam called after him, keeping his voice low so as to not wake the sleeping members of their team. He sat down in Callen's vacant chair and reached over to pull a blanket up over Nell. "Sweet dreams."

**A/N: Something less fluffy than usual. It ended up longer than I expected. I like the whole little sister thing Nell has with the others. It's cute. One thing that bothers me is how she knows Nate. I'm like a hound dog with details like that. Anyone got any ideas?**

**Also, if anyone knows of some party/drinking games, could you please tell me in a review? I can only think of truth and dare. (Yeah, I know, I'm boring).**

**Thanks!**


	6. The Morning After

**A/N: I know this hasn't been updated in a very long time and I'm sorry. I was focusing on school work and, to be honest, writer's block is a bitch. Thank you to everyone who's review/alerted/favourited! You guys are the reason this chapter was written. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or the characters because if I did, the last episode wouldn't have had such an evil cliff hanger. **

6: The Morning After

The sun's bright light forced him to open his eyes. Sam sat up and looked around, his head pounding out a beat loud enough to be heard in South America. "What the," He groaned, holding his head and closing his eyes again. The relentless sunlight made his headache worse.

He opened his eyes again, blinking until they focused properly. "How the hell did I get up here?" He was sitting in the large oak tree in the backyard of the safe house. Sam jumped down from the branch he was half sitting, half lying on, landing with unsteady feet. He paused, letting the world stop spinning around him.

"G!" He called, wincing at the too loud voice he'd used. If he ended up in a tree, he didn't know where his partner could've ended up. "I swear this is the last time Deeks talks us into drinking games," He muttered darkly as he walked up to the back door. "G!"

"Stop yelling," Eric's voice came out of the lounge room. "It hurts."

"Where are you?" Sam lowered his voice as he walked toward the tech.

"Here," The blonde man replied, wobbling as he tried to stand up.

"What the hell are you doing in there?" Sam's brown eyes widened as he saw Eric.

He looked down the see himself sitting in the fireplace, "How?" Eric breathed, trying to clear the alcohol fuelled cobwebs from his head. "What am I doing in the fireplace?"

Sam shook his head, "I have no idea."

"How much did we drink last night?" Eric asked as he scrambled out of the fireplace.

"I don't remember," The SEAL said honestly. "The last thing I remember is truth and dare."

"And Callen had to be a chicken," Eric nodded, vaguely remembering the team leader clucking around the room.

"Don't remember that part," Sam said but shrugged. "Sounds like something Kensi would make him do."

"Where is Kensi? And Callen?"

"No idea. Where did you last see them?"

Eric pursed his lips, trying to remember. "Kensi and Deeks wanted to play murder in the dark. Nell and I hid here and that's where it goes blank."

"Murder in the dark?" Sam scoffed. "How old are you guys?"

"Hey, we were drunk!" Eric said indignantly.

"And that excuses everything," He drawled sarcastically. "Get a drink of water and then we'll look for them."

"Tell me there are some painkillers here somewhere?" Eric moved slowly to the kitchenette and rummaged through the drawers. "Dammit."

"Here," Sam shoved a glass of water into his face. "Drink. It will help."

Eric guzzled the water in a few gulps. "So where were you?"

"What do you mean?" He evaded answering the question.

"Where did you wake up?"

Sam sighed; Eric was going to pester him like an annoying puppy until he gave in. "Up a tree?"

"A tree?" Eric laughed, looking at the burly man incredulously.

"Yes. Now shut up."

"Shutting up." He snapped his jaw shut so quickly his teeth rattled. He'd seen what the angry SEAL could do.

"Come on, we've got to search the house. Who knows where they could be." Sam started walking down the corridor and Eric hurried after him.

"Where do you think Callen is?" Eric asked anxiously, almost treading on Sam's heels.

"How am I supposed to know? Do I look like I'm a psychic?"

"You're his partner," Eric said dryly as they checked the girl's room. "You two are always together."

"Apparently," Sam replied tightly, trying to rein in his irritation. "Not always."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know," The SEAL sighed.

"I wish the drummer in my head would shut up," Eric said randomly. "It's playing Smoke on the Water and I never liked that song."

"Really?" Sam asked.

"I know everyone loves it and it's a classic-"

"No," Sam cut him off, "I mean, really, you can hear it too?"

The blonde's jaw dropped. "You can hear it?"

"Yes," Sam gave him a pointed look. "I wouldn't have made that up."

"Wow. Well, ok. The probability of both of us sharing a hallucination, possibly grand delusion is like 1 in a million so…"

"It's not a hallucination."

"How do you know?" Eric frowned.

"Because it's coming from there," Sam pointed to the small closet at the other end of the room.

"You sure?"

"Yes," Sam answered curtly. He never liked it when people doubted him. "I have extremely good hearing. Now stay here." His voice dropped to a whisper. Maybe he was being pedantic but considering their situation, he believed that caution was prudent.

Walking carefully over to the closet, Sam was silent. He glanced back at Eric, who was watching anxiously, and nodded once. Then he turned the lock and swung the closet door open. "What the hell?"

Inside the closet, Deeks and Kensi were standing, facing each other, with no space between them. Kensi's head rested on Deeks' toned chest, rising and falling with his breath. She was fast asleep. Deeks, on the other hand, was wide awake. He blinked at Sam and blinked again. "Is this real?"

"I don't know," Sam answered, "Is it?"

His blue eyes widened and Deeks jumped out the closet, "Halleluiah!" He cried, waving his arms. "We're free!"

"Ow," His partner picked herself up off the floor where she'd fallen and jerked awake. "About time, Sam."

"I'm sorry," Sam smiled faux-sweetly and continued on in the sardonic manner. "Next time you and Deeks play 7 minutes in heaven, you should check that the door doesn't lock on the outside."

"It was not 7 minutes in heaven," Deeks frowned as he stretched his aching muscles.

"More like 6 hours in hell," Kensi said darkly, rubbing her sore head. "You didn't have to drop me, you know," She glared at her partner.

"I'm sorry, Princess," Deeks told her. "I was a little overwhelmed by the overwhelming sense of freedom caused by the lock that you locked opening. I almost hugged Sam," He added quickly.

"Lucky for you, you didn't," Sam said.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"So," Eric spoke up, asking a question that was also running through Sam's mind. "What were you two doing in the closet?"

"Making out," Deeks said immediately. "What?" He shrugged when three raised eyebrows were directed his way. "It's not that unlikely."

"Yeah it is," Kensi nodded then shook her head as if clearing it of the outrageous suggestion. "We were playing sardines. Deeks hid in the closet, I found him and the lock got stuck."

"We being?" Sam asked, looking between them.

"Me, Deeks and Callen. He never found us," Kensi answered, running a hand through her head, catching on a tangle in her curly brown hair. "Do we have any aspirin? My head is killing me."

"Join the club," Eric said, not entirely unsympathetically. "There is no aspirin."

"You should drink some water," Sam said helpfully. "Rehydrate yourself."

"Wait," Eric held up a hand, realising something. "You said that you, Deeks and Callen were playing Sardines, where was Nell?"

"She went to bed," Kensi looked at the empty bed and adjusted her words. "She said she was going to bed."

"When was this?" Sam asked, trying to organise a timeline in his head.

"After Harry Potter here tried to access the Floo Network," Deeks answered, gesturing to Eric.

"What?" Sam looked at him, totally confused. "Speak English."

"He is," Eric explained quickly. "The Floo Network is from Harry Potter. It's how wizards travel- they use the fireplaces."

"That would explain where I found you then," Sam nodded. It made slightly more sense now. Not a lot – but some. He didn't want to completely understand it.

"But I did not use the Floo Network. I was not that drunk," Eric argued, looking imploringly at Kensi for support.

"Dude," Deeks drawled. "You went outside, came back in with a handful of dirt, went to the fireplace, chucked in it and yelled 'Diagon Alley.' You were drunk."

"Oh my god," What little colour that was left in Eric's face drained. "That is so embarrassing."

"No, embarrassing was Callen's chicken impersonation," Kensi said. "I wish I had a camera for that. That would get me out of paperwork for a month."

"Two," Deeks corrected. "He would never live it down."

"What are you two talking about?" Sam looked between the two partners.

"You don't remember?" Kensi asked, shocked.

"He doesn't remember," Deeks answered for the SEAL.

"Oh, it was good," Kensi grinned. "Think Fourth of July good."

"I don't remember," He racked his brain but everything was still blank.

"Cheer up, Buddy," Deeks clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll remember for you."

"That's helpful, Deeks. Thank you," Sam said sarcastically.

"Anytime," The detective nodded.

"Now that you guys are done, can we find Nell now?" Eric asked, concern evident in his tone. "And Callen," He added quickly.

"Yes," Sam decided for the group and followed Eric out of the room. "Deeks, Kensi, you guys check out the front. Eric and I will keep checking the rooms in here. Meet back in 10."

"Gotcha," Deeks gave him a mock salute as Kensi pushed him towards the front door. "Ow, my eyes. My eyes. The sun is burning," He held up his hands, trying to save his hungover vision from the sunlight beaming through the screen door.

"Shut up Deeks," Kensi sighed and opened the door. "The sooner we find them, the sooner we can go to bed."

"Together?"

The only sound Sam and Eric heard was a hard slap and the corresponding (girly) cry of pain.

#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Deeks squinted in the glare, "Where do you think Callen is?"

"Knowing him, probably the last place we'd think of," Kensi answered, also squinting against the light as she scanned the tree line they were approaching.

"How long do you think it will take to find him?"

"I don't know Deeks. It will probably take longer if you keep whining about it."

"I don't whine."

"You whine," Kensi nodded, glancing back and savouring his indignant expression.

"Do not."

There was a rustle in the trees and the agent and detective froze.

"Come out with your hands up, I'm armed and dangerous."

"It's just me," Nell emerged from the path hidden by a large tree, carrying a bag full of oranges from the tree they'd found on their first day. "I thought you guys might want breakfast."

"Nell? We've been looking for you for ages," Kensi said, relieved. "Where were you?"

"On the porch," She said nonchalantly. "You guys trying to sing the Macarena was a too bit loud."

"I forgot about that," Deeks soured at the memory. He wasn't known for his beautiful voice – dogs howled at him when he sung.

"Come on," Kensi waved them back to the house. "Let's go back inside."

"You wouldn't happen to know where Callen is, would you?" Deeks asked.

Nell shook her head, "No. Sorry. I saw Sam before though. He was up a tree."

"A tree?" Deeks echoed, chortling. "That's almost as bad as us."

"Where were you?"

"We got stuck in our closet. For six hours," Kensi explained in an exasperated tone. "It was horrible."

"You got stuck in the closet. Together?"

"Don't look at me like that. It wasn't like that," The agent bristled at the analysts pointed look.

"Really?" Nell raised an eyebrow. The blush she spotted growing up Kensi's neck disagreed with her.

"Oh shut up," Kensi grumbled and sped up.

#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

"Do you think she's ok?" Eric teetered at the doorway as Sam searched the room, checking in closets and under the bed.

"Nell?" Sam asked, his muffled voice coming out from under the bed.

"No," The tech drawled sarcastically, "Kensi."

"I'm sure she's fine, Eric," Sam pulled himself to his feet, ignoring the pounding in his head as he stood.

"But we're not like you guys," Eric said, fidgeting. "You guys are like the Avengers or Justice League and we just sit behind a computer and tell you not to run into walls. Not that you run into walls often," He added quickly.

"Eric, you're not making any sense," Sam said with an internal sigh. He was too hungover to play the surrogate older brother. His head hurt too much.

"We're not trained. If something happens here, I'd be useless."

"Eric, you aren't useless," Sam told the younger man. "And both of you will be fine. There isn't any danger here. We're safe."

"Yeah, safe," Eric rolled his eyes. "Hiding out in a shack that's falling apart in the middle of nowhere and on the run from some crazy super villain that knows all of our identities. Totally safe"

"Sarcasm isn't attractive, Eric."

Eric opened his mouth to reply but thought better of it.

"Come on; let's check the bathroom then we'll meet up with the others."

"Famous last words," Eric muttered. "What?" He demanded when Sam gave him a weird look. "Whenever someone says that in a horror movie, they all die."

"This is not a horror movie," Sam informed him in a teacher like tone.

"Yeah, well the dripping tap and creaking floorboards would seem to disagree with you."

Sam whirled around the face Eric, "Would you calm down? Freaking out is not going to help anyone."

"Sorry," The blonde looked at the floor, embarrassed at the dressing down.

"Just take a breath," Sam said as he opened the bathroom door.

"I told you this was a horror film," Eric's eyes widened as he took in the sight. The old, chipped bathtub was overflowing, water dripping onto the black and white chequered tiles. There was a shallow pool of water around the bathtub. A hand limply hung over the edge. "Is he dead?"

"Eric!" Sam hissed as he cautiously approached the tub. "G?" He ventured, seeing his partner's head resting against the edge of the tub. "You ok?"

The senior agent groaned and rolled over, splashing water everywhere. "Go away, Grandma."

Sam ignored the insult with the ease of practice. "G, how long have you been in there?"

"I was trying to sleep," Callen sat up, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"We've been looking for you for ages. Didn't you hear us?" Eric asked.

"I was ignoring you," Callen shrugged as if it were obvious.

"I was getting worried," Sam told his partner. "We've found everyone but you and Nell."

"She's on the porch swing," Callen stood up, ringing water out of his jeans.

Eric looked at him quizzically, "Why'd you have a bath in your jeans?"

"I don't know Eric. Why did you get into the fireplace?"

"Touché. I'll shut up now."

"Always a smart move," Callen nodded and stepped out of the bath. "Where are Kensi and Deeks?"

"Right here," Deeks declared then stopped short as he saw Callen. "Jeez Louise, you look like a drowned rat."

"And you look like a golden retriever," Callen retorted.

"So? Ladies love those dogs," Deeks grinned. "We're charming and good looking and oh so popular."

"Oh my God," Kensi sighed. "I can't deal with him anymore. I'm going to bed. Wake me if the world's ending." She turned on her heel and walked away, locking her bedroom door.

"I was about to make breakfast," Nell announced, filling in the awkward silence.

"I knew I liked you for a reason," Eric grinned at his partner. "Tell me it's bacon and eggs."

"Fruit salad and muesli," Nell corrected with a gentle smile. "You have to eat something healthy after last night."

"Can I make an announcement," Callen said loudly.

"Why do I get the feeling he will even if we say no?" Deeks mumbled to himself.

Callen glared at him but continued. "I think that there should be no mention at all of last night. None of us should ever bring it up again."

"That's actually a good idea," Sam nodded in agreement.

"You know, you don't have to sound so surprised," Callen said to his partner. "I do have good ideas from time to time."

"Here's one: be quiet," Sam said, rubbing his head.

"Awww, did Sammy overdo the tequila last night?" Callen asked with mock-sympathy.

"Shut up," Sam glared at him and walked into their room, closing the door behind him.

"It's best to leave him alone," Callen told the remaining three.

"Like a grumpy bear," Deeks said seriously.

Through all the bickering, Eric watched Nell quietly disappear down the hall to the kitchen. He followed, ducking behind Deeks as the detective argued with their boss. "Hey rock-star," Eric leant on the counter. "How's your head?"

"A little sore," She glanced up from cutting up the oranges. "But I wasn't the one who thought it would be a good idea to mix the scotch and vodka with lemonade."

"Yeah, that was not my finest hour," He laughed a little and snuck a piece of orange. "My head regrets it now."

She rapped him on the hand with the flat side of the knife. "Manners."

"I know, I have none. Hetty delights in telling me so."

"I know," She grinned at him.

"So, you want to tell me why you looked so disappointed when Deeks and Callen decided last night was the night that never happened?" He lowered his voice in case anyone else overheard something they shouldn't.

"Did you know that you I-Pod Touch had a camera?" She gave him the most innocent expression possible.

"What does that…? Oh," He realised what she meant. "You are evil. Truly truly evil."

"I know," She shrugged. "Wanna see the photos?"

"Hell yes!"

**A/N: I made this a bit on the long side to make up for the lack of updates. I hope you liked it. Tell me what you think. And also, the names of really really obscure vegetables (Callen and Sam are going shopping soon). **


	7. Shop Til You Drop

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. No honestly…**

**Shop Til You Drop**

"Remind me again why I have to do this?" Callen asked as he pushed the rickety trolley down the narrow isle of the supermarket.

"Because last time we sent Deeks and Kensi and they came back with trash and we grounded them." Sam answered with the impatience of a man who'd been asked the same question 8 times.

"Why couldn't Eric have come? Or Nell? They could have used the ATM hacking gizmo that they made out of the toaster and I-Pod."

"Eric would've found the nearest internet café and we wouldn't see him for 48 hours." Sam explained simply and accurately. The tech had been whining about the lack of internet for the last week.

"See – it would've been a good thing," Callen pointed out, almost cheerfully. "He's been driving me crazy."

"You're driving me crazy so can I pawn you off on some poor unsuspecting café owner?"

"I hate shopping," Callen said suddenly, as if it were a revelation.

"I wouldn't have guessed," Sam muttered darkly.

"No seriously, if it were a choice between the Amanian mob and the farmer's markets – I'd choose the mob."

Sam shook his head. "You have problems."

"So I've been told," Callen nodded nonchalantly and squinted down at the shopping list. "What does this say?" He held it out for Sam.

"Cheerios," Sam said after a brief glance.

"You understand that chicken scratch?"

The SEAL shrugged, "I can read your writing too."

Callen bristled at the implicit insult. "Even mine is legible compared to that."

"Is that so?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," Callen nodded.

"Are you going to offer Kensi calligraphy classes then, seeing as your penmanship is superior?" Sam asked in an almost sardonic manner.

His partner's blue eyes narrowed, "I like my limbs attached thank you very much."

Sam chuckled, "I thought you would."

"What the hell is a star fruit?" Callen squinted at the shopping list, reading the neat print.

"It's a fruit," Sam explained. "Its insides are star-shaped. There's one right there," He picked up a small yellow skinned fruit and dropped it in the trolley. "It makes a nice tart – very tangy."

Callen gave him a sidelong look, "I'm astounded at the depths of your knowledge."

"Are you mocking me?" Sam glowered at his partner.

"Applauding your culinary talent," Callen replied evenly. Both of them knew it was friendly ribbing on his part. He looked back down at the shopping list. "Is that even a word?"

Sam snatched the list out of his hands, "Yes it's a word. Daikon is a type of radish. It's nice."

"Why do we need it?"

"Because we want to make a Chicken and Daikon Soup."

"What's wrong with American food? And who is we anyway?"

"Firstly, you need to eat healthier and less fatty foods and second, it's Nell and me," Sam shrugged, "We seem to be the only two capable of using the oven."

"I can use an oven," Callen retorted indignantly.

"Microwave ovens don't count G," Sam chided him.

"Why not?"

"A two year old can use them," Sam replied impatiently.

"Doesn't exclude it as an oven."

Sam sighed, "Why do I feel like I brought Deeks along."

"I'm insulted," Callen said, putting a hand to his chest.

"Good," Sam said, "Now get the rice and we can move to the next aisle."

Callen perused the shelves of different type of rice. "Which rice do you want? I'm asking because I assume a man of your delicate culinary understanding would have a preference."

"Shut up, G."

"It's a valid question."

"You're a valid question." 

"That's real mature."

"Just pick the damned rice!" Sam's voice rose slightly as his patience expired.

"Alright, alright. Calm down," Callen grabbed two packets of jasmine rice and tossed them into the trolley. They walked silently to the next aisle. "What type of pasta do we want?"

"Penne," Sam picked it off the shelf. "Goes with everything and even Eric can't mess it up."

"In his defence, he thought the stove was off," Callen said.

"Well it wasn't and the pot was literally red hot. How do you miss that?"

"He was preoccupied," Callen shrugged.

"With what?"

"I don't know. Eric stuff. Anyway, what's next?" Callen changed the subject and tried to look at the shopping list in Sam's hand.

"Chocolate," Sam read the untidy scrawl. "And the next five things are chocolate."

"Let me guess – Kensi."

"Yep," Sam nodded.

They walked back to the confectionary aisle and Callen grabbed the chocolate he'd seen her eat like her life depended on it. "This one's her favourite, isn't it?"

"I don't know," He shrugged. "Chocolate is chocolate."

"Not to Kensi's it's not," Callen reminded him. "Where to now?"

Sam checked the list and his eyes widened, "Oh she didn't."

"She didn't what?" Callen snatched the list out of his partner's hands. He squinted, trying to read the handwriting. "T-A… How the hell are we supposed to get the right ones of those?"

"I don't know," Sam replied. "Why are you asking me?"

"You seem to be the shopping expert!"

"Doesn't mean I know anything about that," Sam retorted.

"Okay, next time, one of the girls goes shopping," Callen decided, nodding to himself. They walked to the aisle and stopped at the shelves of colourful packets. "Now what?"

"You pick something," Sam hissed at him.

"Why me?"

"You're closer."

"She'll kill me if I get the wrong thing,"

"She'll probably kill you if you don't get anything."

Callen had to concede his point, "True." He reached out and grabbed a large pink pack of tampons and tossed it in the trolley as fast as humanly possible.

"Pink?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Is for girls and this is a girl thing," Callen frowned. "And I'll go get the car so I'll meet you out front."

"Why do I have to wait in line?" Sam complained.

Callen thought for a moment, "I'm the senior agent."

"I'm your _partner_," Sam stressed the word. "We're equals."

"But some are more equal than others," Callen quoted and pulled the car keys out of his pocket and started to walk away. "That's Animal Farm, by the way." He tossed over his shoulder and didn't look back.

Sam would swear that his shoulders shook with laughter as he walked away. "I am never shopping again," The SEAL swore and slowly made his way to the already long line. "Ever again."

**A/N: Yeah, I don't really like how this turned out but I'll post it anyway because otherwise I don't know when there would be an update. **


	8. I Capture The Castle

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews/alerts/favourites. You give me the motivation to write faster**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**I Capture The Castle**

Deeks looked at his partner, the person he depended most on. "Are you ready for this?"

She tossed him a cocky grin, "Of course."

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Kensi looked him in the eyes, brown meeting blue, "Do you not want to?"

"I do if you do," Deeks told her with a little shrug.

"Get over it already," Callen groaned, glowering at the junior agent and detective. "We're waiting for you."

"Well sorry, I'm just checking my partner trusts me, you know, considering this is a trust exercise."

Eric gave him a confused look, "How is Capture the Flag a trust exercise?"

"I trust that we're going to win," Deeks answered with a confident swagger as he and Kensi strode to where the rest of them were waiting.

"You mean, we're," Sam gestured to himself and Callen, "Going to win."

"Hey, you're kinda ignoring the dark horse here," Eric piped up. The field agents looked at him, "I was just…" Nell tugged on his sleave, signally him to stop digging himself into a hole.

Callen surveyed the motley group. All of them were dressed in dark browns and pale greens – perfect for blending in with the foliage that surrounded their safe house. He nodded to himself. They were as ready as they'd ever be. "Everyone remember the rules?"

"Yes Dad," Kensi drawled, rolling her eyes.

"We all have 1 area per team and anyone that team catches in their area goes to jail until they rot. Or die of exposure. Or-"

"We got it, Deeks," Kensi cut him off.

"Anything else?" Sam asked sardonically. It was amusing how the LAPD officer tried to impress them sometimes. Other times it was simply annoying. This may have been one of those times.

"No biting, no eye gouging, no testicle T-ball," Deeks glanced poignantly at his partner out of the corner of his eyes.

Kensi and Nell rolled their eyes in unison. Men.

"Thanks for that, Deeks," Callen said sarcastically.

"No problem," Deeks bobbed his head, his mess of blonde hair covering the smirk caused by his success at irritation. They were just too easy sometimes.

"And let's not forget the two hour limit-"

"And the losing team does laundry and dishes for a week, we know," Deeks cut him off. "I hope you guys like laundry."

"Great," Eric muttered darkly. That was going to be fun for him. He and Nell stood no chance against the agents. Unless their plan worked. Then he would have fun.

"We good?" Sam gave them all a final once over. He wasn't about to let anyone get hurt on his watch.

"Just hurry up so we can beat you," Deeks said impatiently, bouncing from foot to foot.

"Everyone's watches synchronised?" Callen asked and a series of simultaneous beeps was his answer. "Okay, go!" He yelled. All of them started running, each pair going in a different direction. And each pair clutching a different coloured flag.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Sam crept through the trees, keeping low to the ground so as to make himself harder to spot. "I am not letting Deeks win."

Callen raised an eyebrow, "I thought you were supposed to be the one all about team solidarity and all that."

"Yeah, well," The Navy SEAL huffed, "Right now, you're my only team and he was annoying me this morning."

"You're just mad he used all the hot water."

"Aren't you?" Sam asked, looking back at his partner.

"Yeah, that's why I short sheeted his bed."

"At least I'm dealing with my irritation in a productive manner. Yours is just destructive."

Callen sighed, "You sound just like Hetty."

"Good," Sam replied quickly. "You might actually listen to me then."

"I do listen – you just," Callen stopped short as Sam held up his hand in the universal symbol of 'stop and shut up'. Sam pointed to the slither of pink hovering behind a large tree a hundred feet in front of them. Callen signed for Sam to take the right while he went left. They walked stealthily forward, avoiding stepping on any branches or making any sounds that could give them away. They got within inches of the tree. Callen grinned a little; it was like taking candy from a baby. Sam went right. Callen went left. Then they attacked. Callen rounded the tree, reaching out and grasping the pink t-shirt tied to a branch sticking out at an odd angle.

Sam almost laughed, "Kensi's good."

"How do you know that was Kensi?" Callen asked as he untied the shirt. "Deeks may have had a moment of usefulness."

Sam looked at his friend dubiously, "It was Kensi. She's teasing us."

"True," Callen agreed and slipped the t-shirt into his backpack. It wouldn't do to get surprised by it again. He would just look stupid. "If they left it here, they have to be close."

"Let's move it then. Deeks is mine," Sam searched for tracks, walking around the tree for a good minute before sighing. "She's good."

"We taught her well," Callen nodded proudly.

"Too well," Sam groaned.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Eric groaned. This was not the fun part. "How are you doing that?" He looked up at Nell, who was climbing up the tree like she was part chimpanzee.

She paused and glanced down, "You're doing great, Eric. It's just a little further."

"Almost being the operative word," The tech grumbled. There was a good reason he rarely strayed from the Ops centre. The outdoors hated him with a vengeance. As if to prove his point, as he pulled himself up onto the next branch, he whacked himself in the head on another. "Ouch."

Nell wisely refrained from smiling, "It's just a bit further."

"This was a stupid idea," He continued hauling himself up the large tree, getting higher than he would have liked. But it was all part of the plan.

"It was your idea," Nell reminded him gently. She'd reached the top of the trunk and settled on one of the branches it split into.

"No, playing Tarzan was your idea," Eric corrected, finally catching up with his partner. "I made it." He dropped onto the other branch, put his feet up and rested his back against another branch. _This part was so bad,_ he decided.

"Yes you did," She smiled at him, genuinely happy. She pulled off her backpack and started rummaging through it.

"I now remember the reason I didn't climb trees when I was a kid,"

"You didn't climb a tree?" Nell asked, surprised.

"Nope," He shook his head, sounding almost proud of the fact. "I hated it."

"I used to climb all the trees in Central Park. I'd get to the top and just sit and read until my Mom made me go home," She smiled at the memory.

That explained her monkey-like skills. "I was one of those kids that never left their room. My Mom thought I was surgically attached to my computer."

"Nothing's really changed then, has it?" She teased.

"Nope," He grinned. "Are you going to give me those Oreos you're hiding in there or not?"

"Here," She passed over the packet.

Eric tore the packet open and stuffed a cookie into his mouth, "I take it back," He said, crumbs spraying everywhere. "This was a good idea."

"Not as good as yours." She took an Oreo as he took his second.

"But close," He knocked his Oreo against hers. "Cheers."

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

"I feel like I'm in _Lost_ or something," Deeks said as he followed Kensi down the winding path through the trees. "I keep expecting a polar bear to come out and –bam- we're dead."

She glared at him over her shoulder, "Deeks." It was surprising how much intonation she could place in one word.

"Hey, I call it like I see it," He shrugged. "We're in the middle of nowhere, playing hide and seek with the Others. Get it – the others."

"You're hilarious."

"I know," Deeks said cheerfully.

"And we're not in the middle of nowhere. I know exactly where we are," Kensi explained smugly.

"And where is that, Lady MacGyver?"

Kensi pointed to her right, "The house is two miles that way."

"Smart Alec."

"Jealous," Kensi retorted.

"Am not."

"Stop."

"Why?"

"Because I just found Sam's tracks," Kensi hissed, pulling him back before he could walk into them.

"You sure?"

"You think Nell's shoes are that size?" She pointed at the large footprint in front of them.

"Good point. So what do we do now?"

"We stay quiet and alert," Kensi planned. "If they're here, chances are they're close and they know it."

Deeks glanced around the trees, "Are we in their territory?"

"Yep," Kensi nodded, pursing her lips.

"We're doomed."

"Yep." A thought hit her, "Unless…"

"Care to voice that thought?" Deeks looked at her questioningly.

"I have a plan."

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Deeks stormed through the trees, kicking branches out of his way. "Great plan, Kensi!" He fumed loudly. "Great way to get your partner killed," He looked around at the all too strangely familiar trees. "And now I'm lost. I hope you're happy Kensi Marie Blye because I'm-" He was tackled to the ground.

"Going to jail," Callen told him, rolling over the detective and pinning his arms behind his back.

"Oh come on," Deeks whined. "Can't you give a guy a break?"

"He did," Sam told him, leaning against a tree. "I was gonna tackle you."

"Thank heavens for small mercies," Deeks rolled his eyes. "You can get off me now."

"Why would I want to do that?" Callen smirked as Deeks struggled in vain to get free. "You'll just run away."

"I won't!"

Sam laughed at that, "How often do we here that one?" He felt a hand slip into his pocket and take the flag out. "Hey!" He snagged Kensi's wrist and eyes widened as he saw her holding his yellow flag.

"I guess that means we won," Deeks grinned.

Callen released him and stared at Kensi, "It was a set up?"

"Please," She rolled her eyes. "Even we wouldn't fight during a training exercise."

"I'm kinda hurt that you thought Kensi would leave me in the middle of nowhere," Deeks said, rolling out his shoulders.

"We're not in the middle of nowhere," Sam explained impatiently as though speaking to a small child. "The house is just over there."

"Yeah well I can't tell that, now can I?"

"You planned everything?" Callen asked, ignoring Deeks with the ease of practice.

Kensi looked at the ground, "Not exactly. It was more of an improvised plan."

"Then why did you plant the shirt to confuse us?"

"And how did you disguise you're tracks, cos I couldn't find any." Sam added, slightly more than curious. It wasn't often people got one over him and his partner.

"What are you talking about?" Kensi frowned at them, looking as though they weren't making sense.

"You didn't leave this behind a tree?" Callen pulled out the shirt and waved it in front of her.

"No," She shook her head.

"Then who did?" Deeks asked the question running through their minds.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Eric leaned back against the branch, "This is the life."

"Yeah," Nell nodded and grabbed another cookie. "Who needs anything else?"

"Just a never ending packet of these babies and I'll be a happy man," He sighed. "And a computer with internet. But we'll work up to that."

"Internet," Nell groaned and closed her eyes. "I miss it."

"Yeah," He nodded. "But this is nice as well."

"For now," She said.

"For now," Eric agreed, taking the last Oreo.

"You could share, you know," Nell pointed out.

"Eric's never been good at sharing," Sam said, standing below them.

"You should know that by now," Callen added. "And I have to say, I'm impressed. You had us fooled."

"Well," Eric grinned down at them, revelling in his victory, "We do try to impress."

"And so do we," Deeks swung down from a branch above them, grabbing their green flag out of Nell' bag. He hung upside down, watching their surprised faces.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Eric whined.

"That's totally against the rules," Nell said, crossing her arms.

"Technically there were no rules against us cooperating," Kensi said, walking out so they could see her.

"You cheated," Eric pouted. His plan had failed and they were going to be stuck on laundry duty for a week. It wasn't fair; they were at a disadvantage.

"If it makes you feel better," Deeks said, "You didn't come last. Kensi and I got Callen and Sam."

"You won?" Nell asked, shocked. That was not the outcome she was expecting.

"Yes, and don't remind me," Sam grumbled.

"So hurry up and get down here so we can give them enough laundry and cleaning duties to last a month," Kensi said.

"Gloating is so not cool, Kensi," Callen told her.

"I'm not gloating. I'm stating a fact."

The senior agent sighed, "This is going to be a long week."

A/N: Please tell me what you thought. Reviews are much loved.


	9. Bombe Alaska

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews/alerts/favourites. You make it so much easier to write. This one's a little different than usual. I needed a break from fluff after my Eric/Nell vid and my Senior Formal (Prom for you Americans).**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but pretty silver shoes and a blue ball gown I'll probably never wear again. **

**Bombe Alaska **

"I am going to kill him," Kensi swore, pacing the room they were locked in

Nell sat on the floor and glanced up at her fellow captive. "I think you're going to have to get in line."

"I'm his partner. I have dibs," Kensi replied tightly "It's my right."

"Does that mean I can make Eric watch 3 seasons of Grey's Anatomy as punishment for this?"

Kensi almost laughed, "He'd hate that."

"That's kinda the point," Nell said with a smile. Revenge was sweet sometimes. "They deserve it."

"That they do," Kensi agreed with her.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

1 hour earlier

Deeks leant on the kitchen counter, watching her intensely.

She added the flour and sugar in the correct amounts, not needing to measure anything. Practice made perfect after all. She tried to ignore the man staring at her but his piercing blue eyes were distracting. "I'm not going to go any faster if you keep staring at me," Nell told him, adding milk to the mixture in a large red bowl in front of her.

"I'm not staring," He said, "I'm watching."

"Anyone would think you've never seen a girl bake from scratch before," Eric piped up, barely looking up from the surfing magazine he was reading. He lounged sideways on the patched work armchair in the adjoining living room.

If he'd looked up, he would have seen the pain flicker across Deek's face. Deeks' eyes narrowed at the tech, "I'm sorry we didn't all have the Norman Rockwell childhood you did."

Nell looked over at Kensi, who was lying on the sofa, pleadingly.

"Did you sat watch a girl bake?" Kensi intervened, creating a mock argument in the place of something that could blow up in their faces. A less hurtful argument was better than one that reopened old wounds. Especially when they were practically living on top of each other in the small house.

"Um. Yes?" Eric glanced over at the tall brunette who sat up to glare at him.

"So according to you, girls are the only ones that cook?" Kensi stood up and folded her arms, looking down on him.

"I didn't mean it like that. Nell," He looked to the redhead with the bemused look on her face for support. "Come on, please. Help me out here."

She shook her head, "You said it, not me."

"What did you mean?" Kensi asked him in a saccharine sweet voice.

Eric gulped, flashing back to every interrogation and undercover he'd ever heard her use that voice in. It never ended well for the other guy. "I was just…"

"Being a misogynist?" Kensi asked, raising an eyebrow. She'd gotten him flustered according to plan. Now he'd be too distracted to start anything with Deeks.

"No! I've just only ever seen my mother bake. And Nell," He added quickly, casting a quick look over to his friend. Nell rolled her eyes and went back to stirring the mixture. He was digging himself a hole.

"Oh how sweet," Deeks drawled sarcastically.

Kensi whirled on him, "Not helping Deeks." She wouldn't be able to diffuse the situation if he kept making wisecracks.

"What?" He held up his hands. "I did nothing. It was him that started it." He pointed accusingly at Eric, much like a temperamental child.

"I didn't do anything!" Eric replied indignantly.

"Just because you had the white picket fence, doesn't mean everyone else did. So sorry for trying to learn about stuff I should have when I was a kid."

"I never said…"

"Yeah you did."

"Guys," Nell tried to cut in but they ignored her. "Guys!" The two blonde men continued to argue, putting blame on the other.

"I'm not stupid, Deeks. I know everyone here has pasts they're not happy about."

"That could possibly be the understatement of the year. And you're wrong."

"About what? 

"You not being stupid."

"What? I save you butt five times a week! Without me, you'd be running into blind alleys."

"Whoever speaks next does not get any dinner!" Nell yelled, finally getting the guys attention. Both of them turned to look at the petite girl. "Thank you," She said, exhaling loudly.

"Now, both of you say you're sorry," Kensi coached them, speaking to them like she were speaking to misbehaving children.

The men eyed each other, not willing to make a move until the other did. It was like a Mexican stand off.

"Oh, just shake hands already," Kensi snapped at them.

"Who put you in charge?" Deeks asked her.

"Yeah, technically I'm the senior officer here," Eric said. "You're the junior agent."

"And you're acting like kids arguing over nothing."

"It was not nothing," Deeks frowned at her.

"Hey!" Kensi waggled her finger at him. "Don't you start on me! I was trying to help you avoid getting into a fight with Eric."

"Well, well done. Now we're fighting."

"Yeah, I can see that," Kensi said dryly, as if it were obvious. "I think the neighbours can here us."

"Don't exaggerate Kens. It's not attractive."

"Neither's being a poopy pants," Eric muttered darkly, still angry with Deeks.

"Excuse me?" The detective turned around; glaring down at the tech. "Did you just say 'poopy pants'?"

"No," Eric seemed to shrink ten inches.

"Okay, first of all, who says 'poopy pants'? What are you? 9? And second of all, I am not a poopy pants!"

"Kinda are at the moment. I have to agree with Eric," Kensi gave a one shouldered shrug.

"Of course you do. All of you back each other up like it's NCIS against the world. Newsflash Kens, you're not the only team fighting the good fight."

"I know that," She frowned at the criticism.

"Do you Kensi? Do you really?" He looked at her as if trying to look into her soul "Because it's not just Callen that does the whole lone wolf thing, you do it too."

"I do not," Kensi huffed.

"Yeah you do. You've locked yourself up in that tower of yours, barricaded the steel door and antagonised the dragon that's guarding the gate. You don't let anyone in."

"At least I don't pretend to be an idiot."

"I do not pretend to be an idiot."

"Yes, Deeks, you do."

Eric backed away from the arguing couple, turning to find Nell rummaging through the pantry. He ambled over to her, "Wow, they can really argue, can' they?"

Nell looked up at him then looked pointedly away, carrying a bowl of grapes and assortment of stone fruits in a container back to the counter where she was preparing dinner. While the rest of them were arguing, she'd steadily been kneading pizza dough and whipping the cream for a lemon cream pie.

"What?" He hissed at her. "I didn't start it."

"Sometimes," She sighed, looking up at him. "It's not about blame. Sometimes you just say you're sorry."

"But-"

"Not buts Eric. When they loose their voices from screaming at each other, you apologise to Deeks."

"Nell…" Eric whined.

She raised an eyebrow at him turned around and started cutting up a peach into small squares.

Eric stared at her back for a moment before sighing heavily to himself. Then he tuned back in to Kensi and Deeks' argument.

"Deeks, you're blowing this way out of proportion."

"Really? Because it seems to me that you're taking Eric's side over mine. And don't think that I didn't see that look Nell gave you. I know what you tried to do- you tried to manipulate us so we wouldn't argue."

"And look how brilliantly that turned out," Kensi rolled her eyes. "I was just trying to help! Sor-ry," She drew out the last word, emphasising every syllable. The agent turned on her heel and stormed towards the door.

"Hey! Don't walk out on me like that!"

She whirled around, like a tornado, "What do you want me to do Deeks?"

"I want you to listen to me dammit!" He yelled.

"I was!" Kensi yelled back and opened the door.

Deeks grabbed the first thing he laid his hands on and threw it at the door. A peach smooched itself on the door, inches above Kensi's head. The agent turned, slowly, looking murderously at her partner. "Now will you listen to me?"

"You threw a peach at me?" Kensi deadpanned, staring at him incredulously. She couldn't believe what he just did.

"Yes. You weren't listening to me."

She stalked back over to him. "What do you want me to listen to?"

"I don't actually remember," He looked at her sheepishly, shrugging a little.

"You have got to be kidding me," Kensi groaned. She picked up an apple and threw it at him.

It collided with his head with a small thud. "Ow!" Deeks yelped, rubbing at his forehead. "Why'd you do that?"

"You threw a peach at me!"

"It was a soft fruit. Apples are hard. It hurt," He pouted.

She rolled her eyes, "Big baby."

He grabbed another red apple and threw it at her. Kensi raised her arm and it hit her forearm. "See, it hurts," Deeks said as she winced at the contact.

"You're going to hurt now," She reached over and grabbed a handful of fruit.

"Hey!" Nell cried, stepping back from the counter, "This isn't a food fight."

"Au contraire Môn frère," Deeks told her, tossing a small smile her way. "That's exactly what this is." He launched himself at the counter to get ammunition just as Kensi started throwing hers. Eric pulled Nell down, out of the way as mango rained down on the Deeks and the counter where they'd been standing. "Come on Kensi," Deeks taunted, throwing an apricot at her, "You throw like a girl!"

"And I do it better than you!" She retorted, backing up towards the door. If she retreated to the tree line, she could make it to the fruit trees and get more fruit.

"Do not!" Deeks countered, ducking as she through an apple at his head. "See you mi-"He stopped speaking as a peach hit him in the cheek.

"Didn't that time!" She smirked at him.

"Guys, come on," Eric tried to reason with them. "You're making a mess."

"You are a mess," Deeks retorted, ducking a flying mango. "Don't think I haven't forgotten you." Kensi made it to the door just as Deeks realised her plan. "Hey! That's cheating!" He ran after her.

"Hey!" Nell yelled, standing up, holding the cream pie. She threw it at them and it soared over their heads, moving in almost slow motion until it landed on Sam's face. Everyone in the room froze. The Navy SEAL wiped his eyes, opening them to glare at them.

Callen walked in, "What the hell is going on in here?" He looked around to see fruit smashed on the floor and on the walls, Kensi and Deeks both holding onto fruit like snowballs in a snowball war and Eric and Nell behind the counter, looking scared.

"He started it." Kensi and Eric pointed at Deeks.

"She started it," Deeks pointed at Kensi.

"And who through the pie?" Sam asked, in a strangled sort of voice. He was still wiping the cream off his face.

"I did," Nell said in a small voice. She looked at the floor, guiltily. She glanced up for split second, "Sorry."

"Okay. Everyone to your rooms. You're in time out for two hours."

"What?" Kensi asked, staring at her boss.

"You heard me," Callen told her sternly.

"Callen, we're not kids," Eric argued.

"Look around," He said. "You're acted like kids; you're going to be treated like kids. Now march!" He pointed down the hall and they filed out, one by one, each of them dragging their feet.

"You know G, you'd make a great dad," Sam smirked at his partner.

"You still have a little cream on your face," Callen replied and walked away.

**A/N: Yeah, this ended up more angsty and longer than expected. Tell me what you thought!**


	10. Because That's How We Roll Part One

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews/alerts/favourites. They never fail to make me smile. I'm glad so many people are reading and enjoying this story. **

Because That's How We Roll (Part 1)

Silence ruled in the tiny house. No one spoke and the only sound was the slight rustle of the trees outside as the winter winds set in. Sam surveyed the rest of his team, who were spread out in the living room.

Kensi lay, eagle spread on the floor, staring into space and occasionally returning to earth just long enough to sneak popcorn out of Deek's bowl. Deeks was absently patting Monty and reading some magazine. Sam turned to see Callen standing guard at the doorway, watching the barren horizon for any source of trouble. He was too tense in Sam's opinion. Cabin fever was bringing out the worst in them. In all of them. Sam looked back to the living room, realising someone was missing. Nell was perched on the window sill, reading something thick enough to give him a headache. That meant…

"Nell," Sam asked, "Where's Eric?"

She glanced up at him and shrugged, "I don't know."

"Have no fear," Eric's voice boomed down the hall, "Eric is here and he brings gifts."

"You're a bit early for Christmas there, Santa," Callen said dryly, angling himself to watch both Eric's antics and the open door.

"Dude, this is so much better than Christmas," Eric ambled into the room, carrying a large surfboard.

Deeks looked up at it, slack jawed, "Is that…"

Eric grinned broadly, "Yep."

"A 1960'sGreg Noll Figure 8 stringer 10 foot Malibu. Oh God, I've died and gone to heaven," The blonde detective stared at the dust covered fibreglass board.

Kensi looked between the two awed men, "It's a surfboard."

"It's not any surfboard," Eric told her as though a baby could understand his wonderstruck state, "It's the godfather of surfboards."

"Calling that 'just a surfboard' would be like calling Superman a farm boy," Deeks explained, trying to use imagery his partner would understand.

"Should we give you three a room?" Sam asked with a teasing smile.

"You can give us a beach. No wait," Deeks scrambled to correct himself. "That didn't come out right." Kensi smirked at him.

Callen walked over to his partner, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Sam nodded, "Jailbreak."

"Jailbreak."

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Deeks squirmed in the uncomfortable car seat. "Next time we have to steal a bigger car,"

"Hey," Kensi cried as Deeks narrowly avoided elbowing her in the face. "Watch it."

"I would if, you know, there was room to move or breathe even. Yeah, room to breathe would be nice, I think." Deeks said, still trying to get comfortable. All six of them were jammed into a small, faded blue Volkswagen bug that Callen had 'borrowed' on their last shopping trip. At the time, none of them had considered that fitting six adults in a car that small was barely physically possible. Sam was driving, hunched over the steering wheel and his head hit the roof of the car every time they hit a rock in the dirt path winding through the hills. In the back, Nell sat on Eric's lap, trying to make herself as small as possible so she didn't fly through the open window. With Nell in his lap and being squached by Deeks and Kensi in the backseat, Eric was feeling claustrophobic. And the fact they were driving through winding roads bordered by steep cliffs wasn't easing his fear of heights.

"Remind me again whose brilliant idea this was?" Callen asked darkly, his knees up to his ears as he was crammed into the passenger seat.

"Yours," Kensi answered curtly. "And if I'd know that I would be stuck between Deeks and Eric for three hours, I would have stayed back at the house."

"I'm glad we got out of the house," Nell piped up. "It was starting to feel like a prison."

"If that was a prison then this is hell," Deeks whined, sticking his head out the window to get some fresh air. The air conditioner was broken.

"Hey, if you all don't stop your whinging, I'm going to drop you off on the side of the road and you can walk home," Sam threaterned, using the review mirror to glare at the four in the backseat.

"What side of the road?" Eric asked dryly, glancing out at the sudden drop beside him and immediately regretting it.

"Eric," Kensi gave him a long sideways look, "Are you afraid of heights?"

"No. Maybe. Yes?"

Nell gave his hand a quick squeeze. "We'll sit on the other side on the way back," She said softly, so the others couldn't hear.

"Thanks," He nodded just as they went over a large bump in the road. His arms immediately tightened around her small waist. "You okay?"

"Yeah," She nodded, her hair bouncing up and down in his face.

"I'm fine too, thanks for asking," Deeks announced. "Not that anyone cares."

Sam frowned at the speedometer in the dashboard, "Oh crap."

"What?" Callen leant over. "Dammit."

"What is it?" Kensi asked as everyone else in the backseat craned to see what was wrong.

The old car puttered to a stop, halfway up a steep incline. They rolled back a few yards before Sam slammed on the handbrake. "That's what's wrong," Callen said.

"Great!" Deeks collapsed against the seat, whacking his head on the roof. "We're stuck in the middle of nowhere and the car is broken down. What are we going to do?"

"You," Kensi told him in a stern voice reserved for bossing around her partner, "Are going to get out of the car and sit down and shut up while we," She gestured to Sam and herself, "Fix this."

"You can fix this?" Nell asked, hopefully.

"Please, I hotwired a helicopter once," Kensi grinned. "This will be a piece of cake."

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

"Piece of cake my ass," Kensi grumbled as she leant into the engine of the aging bug. "Why does everything go wrong for us?"

"Because," Sam grunted, trying to twist off a rusted screw, "We're us." They had been trying to restart the engine for the past hour to no avail. Sam pushed himself up, out from under the bonnet. "Try it now G," He called and Kensi quickly moved out of the way.

Callen turned the key and the engine splutted for a second then died again. "No use," He got out of the car, not bothering to turn off the ignition.

Deeks sat on the side of the road, in the shade with Eric and Nell, "Can we call triple A now?"

"Yeah, if we want to paint a target on our backs," Callen scoffed at his idea, ambling over and sitting down. Nell passed over a bottle of water and he took it gratefully.

"I would prefer a target on our backs than vultures on our corpses," Deeks retorted, standing up to stretch. His muscles were cramping after the car ride and the wait.

"I second that," Eric raised his hand a little, like a shy schoolboy in class.

"It will be fine," Callen told them, "Sam and Kensi have fixed worse." As he spoke Kensi yelled an obscenity at the car and kicked it in the undercarriage. As soon as she did, the engine roared into life.

"Seriously?" Deeks gaped at his partner. "If I did that, I would just break my foot but when _she_ does that-" He stopped talking as he watched, horrified, at the car rolling down the hill. "Kensi!"

TO BE CONTINUED.

**A/N: I felt like doing something different. And this idea kinda developed into a two-parter. I hope you guys don't mind. Tell me what you think!**


	11. Because That's How We Roll Part Two

**A/N: Thank you for all the amazing reviews! I didn't expect to get so many. And to the person that put this fic on her recommendation list on tumblr – THANK YOU! I can't believe you did that. XD**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the 19 days of school I have left. **

Because That's How We Roll Part 2

"_It will be fine," Callen told them, "Sam and Kensi have fixed worse." As he spoke Kensi yelled an obscenity at the car and kicked it in the undercarriage. As soon as she did, the engine roared into life. _

"_Seriously?" Deeks gaped at his partner. "If I did that, I would just break my foot but when she does that-" He stopped talking as he watched, horrified, at the car rolling down the hill. "Kensi!" _

He sprinted down the hill as everyone else turned to look, moving in what Deeks considered slow motion. It would have been comical if it wasn't his only chance to get out of the middle of nowhere. "Stop!" He yelled at the car to no avail. The car continued to roll backwards, picking up speed as it gained momentum. Deeks put on an extra burst of speed, sprinting after it. He could hear shouts from behind him but he couldn't make out the words. They could have been swearing at him in fifty different languages and he wouldn't have been able to tell.

Reaching out, his fingers brushed the bumper bar. "Come on!" He groaned, trying again. "I am not going to die out here." This time, his hand wrapped around the slightly rusty metal and he pulled back, his muscles straining. His feet slid, digging into the dirt road. "A little help would be nice!" He yelled over his shoulder.

Sam appeared on his right and Callen on his left, "What does it look like we're doing?" Callen asked dryly, as they slowed the car to a stop. Kensi zipped past them and ducked into the driver's seat and pulled the hand break.

"Crisis averted," She declared, standing up with a flourish.

"Ok, let's move out," Sam waved at Eric and Nell to gather everything they'd taken out of the tiny bug and put it back in.

"Hey, whoa," Deeks held out his hands, "Can we take a moment to reflect on how I just saved our lives?"

"You stopped a car," Kensi's mismatched eyes narrowed at him, "You didn't save us from a burning building."

"If I didn't, we'd be trapped in the middle of nowhere with no food and water and we'd end up being cannibals!"

"Someone really needs to cut down on watching TV," Sam drawled, getting into the driver's seat.

"It's a valid theory," Deeks retorted. "And it was on a reality TV show."

"Lord of the Flies isn't real Deeks," Eric informed him as he dumped a tattered picnic basket into the boot. He also checked that the surfboard was securely tied to the roof of the car.

"It wasn't Lord of the Flies," The blonde detective glared at the tech. "I know the difference between reality and fiction."

"And yet you still believe women fall for the 'I'm in a band' trick," Kensi scoffed, settling into the middle.

"Oh, you wouldn't believe how many times that worked," He smirked cockily at her.

Nell screwed up her nose, "I really don't want to hear about that."

"New rule," Callen declared as he turned the ignition back on, "No one complains, whines or backchats anyone until we get to the beach."

"What about when we get to the beach?" Deeks asked, just to be annoying. He had a reputation to maintain after all.

Sam twisted in his seat, "If you piss us off, I'll demonstrate some SEAL techniques I'm sure you've heard about."

Deeks gulped, "I'll just sit here then."

"That's the best idea you've had all morning," Kensi told him.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Eric and Nell scrambled out of the vw bug. "Freedom!" Eric exclaimed overdramatically, raising his arms above his head in a 'hallelujah' gesture.

"I think someone's been coped up inside too long," Nell said, an amused smile playing on her lips.

"I haven't been to the beach in forever," He gazed at the white-crested waves longingly.

"24 days is a long time," The analyst agreed, nodding her head. "But forever?"

"He's a surfer- it's an addiction," Deeks explained as he untied the surfboard from the roof. "But I have first dibs on the board," He put a hand on it possessively.

"Hey, no fair!" Eric whined.

"A, I was here first. B, I'm a capable detective and you do not want to mess with me."

"Okay, we're gonna play dirty are we?" Eric glared at him, taking what was supposed to be a menacing step forward. "In that case, A, I found it first so finder's keepers."

"What are you, grade school?" Kensi scoffed at the two glowering blonde men.

"And B, I'm one of twenty people in the world that can destroy your credit rating, decimate your bank account and ruin your online reputation without getting caught."

"Oh my god, they're teenagers!" Kensi through her hands up in exasperation.

Nell gave her a queer look, "What school did you go to?"

"Are you serious?" Deeks gaped at the tech.

"Like the plague," Eric nodded and pushed his glasses up on his nose.

"Break it up," Sam intervened. "You'll flip for it." He pulled out a penny and flipped it. "Call it G."

"Heads," Callen called out from behind Sam where he was getting stuff out of the boot.

"Eric gets first go. Now you two play nice or I'm going to break the board, ok?"

"But it's a masterpiece," Eric's jaw dropped at the threat.

"It's worth more than you make in a fortnight," Deeks' added. "You wouldn't."

"Play nice and you won't have to find out," Sam told them. "Now go."

Deeks grabbed the board and ran down the beach with Eric on his heels.

Sam sighed, watching them go. "Anyone else fell like we just unleashed two terrors on society?"

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Kensi stretched out in the sun, relishing in the warmth on her skin. It was getting cooler as it go further into December and even though it was California, it was starting to get to chilly at nights for her liking. "This is so good," She moaned, her eyes closed against the glare. Without the chance to go shopping for swimwear, they all had to resort to old clothes and underwear and Kensi had pinched one of Sam' t-shirts to use a as a cover-up.

"The best," Nell agreed, lying next to her under the shade sail Callen had constructed out of a sheet, two sticks and a rock. "It's so quiet out here."

"That's because the noisy ones are out there," She nodded to the water where Deeks and Eric were surfing.

"They make it look so easy," Nell said with a trace of jealousy in her voice. Deeks was passing through the tube of a wave and exited with an excited whoop and a back flip.

"I'm sure Eric would teach you. If he doesn't, Deeks is hounding me to learn and you can come with us after we get the all clear to go home."

The petite redhead shook her head, "It's ok. Sports aren't really my thing."

"I like my feet on solid land but I'm willing to try anything to get him to shut up," Kensi rolled onto her side and looked up at Nell. "You know?"

"I know," She nodded. "But you like him, don't you?"

"Like what?" Kensi froze, trying to decipher the many possible meanings of those words.

"As a partner," Nell clarified, "What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing," She said quickly with a shake of her head. "Nothing at all."

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Callen's feet pounded the sand, propelling him forward. Beside him, Sam ran at a matching, steady pace. "We should have done this before," The SEAL said.

"Yeah but we had to wait for a bit before we could claim temporary insanity," Callen replied. "Otherwise we'd been keelhauled for mutiny."

"Hetty wouldn't keelhaul us," Sam disagreed, "She'd make us do more paperwork."

"I'd personally rather being keelhauled."

"You have problems, buddy," Sam shook his head at his partner's opinion.

"And I'm your partner so they're yours too," Callen shot back, slowing to a jog.

"Why are you stopping? Getting too old?" Sam teased.

"No," Callen frowned at the taunt, "I was just thinking about how we could get Kensi back for her stunt when we went shopping."

"And how's that?"

Callen just grinned in response.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

"Okay," Kensi twisted over so she was lying on her back, propped up on her elbows. "McDreamy or McSteamy?"

Nell pulled a face, "George."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. You?"

"McSteamy all the way," The brunette said with a dreamy sigh. "McDreamy's too hypocritical."

"Okay, would you rather Captain America or Ironman?"

"Captain America," Kensi said as if it were obvious. "Hello, navy brat here," She pointed at herself. "It's in my blood to be patriotic."

"Even though he's army?" Nell asked, knowing the feuds between the armed services.

"I'll overlook that fact because of other endearing qualities," Kensi answered, her lips twisting into a smile. "What about- AAh!" She screamed as she was suddenly picked up and tossed over a large shoulder. "Sam!" She hollered, her voice a much higher pitch than normal. "Put me down!"

Before Nell had a chance to react, Callen had scooped her up and carried her underarm towards the water. She struggled in vain. "This isn't funny!"

"Kinda is," Callen grinned down at her as he continued to jog slowly towards the water.

"Put me down this second!" Kensi growled, pounding Sam's back with her fists. She wasn't hitting him hard enough to hurt him; she knew it was all in good fun. Mostly.

"Okay," He agreed amicably and threw Kensi into the air. She screamed as she hit the water

Callen dropped Nell with a small splash and she came up and splashed him. "I didn't do anything," She pouted, acting younger than either of them had seen her before.

"Exactly," Sam said, "Who goes to the beach and sits there and does nothing."

"Everybody," Nell answered snarkily.

Callen frowned at the water, "Where's Kensi?" The foam from the white crests made it difficult to see through the azure water and he couldn't see the female agent anywhere.

"She can swim, can't she?" Nell asked, a little worried.

"She can swim," Sam answered, scanning the water. "We work for NCIS it's-" He was interrupted by Kensi launching herself at him from behind and forcing him to face plant in the water.

"Ha-ha!" She crowed, standing up. "Kensi 1, Sam 1."

Sam pushed himself up into a sitting position, spitting out a mouthful of seawater at Kensi. "Very funny."

"Actually it was," Callen told him, smiling a little.

"Whose partner are you anyway?" Sam mock-glared at him.

A/N: So I have no idea what happened to this little section. I like the start of it then it goes down the drain. Sorry about that. Hopefully it was readable for everyone!


	12. A Spoonful of Sugar

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! I can't believe I made it over 100! I love you guys! I really should be working on my Densi fic but this kinda wrote itself. **

A Spoonful of Sugar

It took a lot to make a man like Marty Deeks cry. He didn't even shed a tear when he'd been shot. There was just a lot of cursing during his rehab but there were never tears. He never let one single salty drop fall. But no he felt like crying like a baby.

He rolled over in bed, curling up into the foetal position and keeping his blue eyes securely shut. The slight movement made the pounding in his aching head feel like a herd of wild horses had trampled him and left him to die.

The door creaked loudly as it opened. "Deeks?" Nell asked, her voice louder than the whisper migraines demanded everyone speak in. "Dinner's is on the table."

"Not hungry," Deeks grumbled into his pillow.

Soft footsteps echoed as she took a few steps into the room. "Are you alright?" She ventured, asking what he considered the stupidest of stupid questions.

"Do I look ok to you?" He snapped, raising his voice and wincing at the pain it caused.

"No," Her voice was small; he'd surprised her with the anger in his voice. "I'll put something in the fridge for you in case you get hungry later."

His stomach churned violently at the thought of food, "That won't be happening."

"It's there if you change your mind," Nell told him, her voice fading as she backed quickly out of the room. The click of the door told him she'd left him alone to wallow in self-pity.

Deeks dragged a pillow over his eyes, trying to make it darker. The light hurt his eyes and his eyelids weren't enough protection. The room he and Eric shared lacked anything resembling curtains and the sunlight poured in like water down the Niagara Falls.

He groaned, clutching the pillow tighter against his eyes as if his sheer will could block out the relentless light. "Now I know how vampires feel." His wisecrack faded into silence. He was alone- holed up in the room he'd (temporarily) kicked his roommate out of. He could hear the movement and cheerful conversation of the rest of his team outside. Someone was pacing the living room and he could make out the faint murmur of Callen and Sam's conversation. He didn't have the willpower or the attention span to discern the words; his head hurt too much for that.

The door creaked, "I said I wasn't hungry, Nell," Deeks said, pressing the pillow to his face. The pillow muffled some of his words but didn't mask the irritated tone.

"Good, because I'm not Nell and I'm sure as hell not feeding you," Kensi told him in her usual brisk manner. He felt the bed dip as she sat on its edge. "But I do bring presents."

"Christmas isn't till next week," Deeks replied, his curiosity a little peaked. He released the pillow and turned slowly to face Kensi. "What did you bring me?"

Kensi tried not to react to her partner's bloodshot eyes and pale pallor and held out a glass of water and aspirin with one hand. "Aspirin and water," She pressed it into his hands, not letting go until she was certain he had a firm grip.

"You don't have to treat me like I'm dying," Deeks told her dryly, tossing back the aspirin with more energy than he'd had for the entire morning. He took a small sip of the water and handed it back to Kensi. He didn't want her to see how his hands shook with the effort of holding it. He didn't want her to see him so weak. She had to trust him.

"You look like you are," She replied evenly, watching him carefully.

"It's just a headache," He tried to be stoic.

"Nell said you looked like death warmed up but I think she was being polite," Kensi shot down his attempts at downplaying the migraine. "Why didn't you tell me you got migraines?"

"It's not that big a deal," If he could have shaken his head at her, he would have. "It's just a couple of times a year."

"I'm your partner," She stressed the word, "I'm supposed to have your back."

"And I'm supposed to have yours!" He countered vehemently. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, ignoring how the room swayed. "We both know you have trust issues bigger than the Pacific and you need to trust me."

"What's that got to do with anything?" She shook her head, confused. She didn't see his logic. She trusted him; he was her partner. He was Deeks.

"If you think I'm going to keel over at any second, you're not going to trust me." He avoided meeting her eyes, feeling overexposed.

"Oh Deeks," She sighed. "You can be so thick sometimes, you know that, right?"

"I've been told," He replied tightly, not liking where the conversation was going. He was always told he was an idiot before he was dumped.

"I'm not going to not trust you because you're not always 100%," Kensi said honestly.

He paused, going through her words, "Can you clarify that? That was a lot of double negatives and my head is spinning."

"I trust you," She spoke slowly, enunciating her words. "Just because you get sick sometimes doesn't mean I'm going to kick you to the curb. We all have off days," She shrugged a little.

"Even you?" Deeks couldn't help but take a jibe at her.

"Yes," She said with fake heaviness, "Even me. Now come on, lie back down before you pass out."

"I always knew you'd make a good nurse," He grinned at her eye roll as he slid back down into bed. She stood up and grabbed a clean handtowel that had been placed on the dresser and dunked it in the glass of water. He frowned at her, "What are you doing?"

"Relax," She told him. "This is what my dad used to do when I was sick when I when I was little. Now close your eyes."

He obeyed, doing what he was told for the first time. "Why do I feel like- oh." He stopped speaking when she laid the cold, damp handtowel on his forehead. "That feels so nice."

She smiled, "I told you so."

"Your dad was very smart," Deeks said, relishing in the coolness. It made the pounding subside a little.

Kensi's smile grew, "That he was."

"Like father, like daughter."

"Good night Deeks," She chuckled and left, a faint pink tinge on her cheeks at the compliment.

**A/N: Something a little different from usual. I hope people weren't too disappointed. There will be more fluff in the next chapter. There's another shopping expedition – try and guess who goes :P. Reviews are love!**


	13. Swing and Miss Part One

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! I feel so popular. I love hearing what you think. Constructive criticism is welcome too!

Deeks hung his hand out the window, catching the breeze. If he wasn't driving, he would have stuck his head of the window too. And if he wasn't worried that the woman in the passenger seat would think him crazy. He bobbed his head along with the country song playing on the radio. Country wasn't his usual style but the woman had a glare that could rival a death ray. The beeping alert of a text message startled the both of them. Deeks glared at the cell phone that sat in the old pick up truck's ashtray. "You know, for an emergency phone, they're using it an awful lot."

"You ate the last of Kensi's doughnuts," Nell deadpanned, raising an eyebrow at him. "What did you think she was going to do?

"Not send me to the shops at 4o'clock in the morning. I mean, who eats doughnuts at 4 am?

"Kensi," The petite redhead answered simply, teasing him slightly.

"And also insulting me by insisting I need a babysitter," Deeks glanced at Nell, "No offence."

She shrugged, "None taken. If it makes you feel better, it was Sam that insisted I go with you. He didn't think you'd get real food."

"Hey," The detective objected. "It is perfectly normal to exist on a diet of beer, cherios and bananas."

"Are you going to check that?" She nodded to the still beeping phone. She didn't want to touch his idea of a healthy diet; there was too much wrong with it.

"No," He snorted, speaking as if that was the obvious answer. "It's going to be Kensi telling me to hurry up or she's gonna t-ball my testicles."

"No she won't," Nell argued. "That's just the sugar withdrawal talking."

"So you agree she's an addict!" Deeks exclaimed gleefully. "Callen and Sam don't believe me and wouldn't help me stage an intervention."

"Maybe they like their noses the way they are," Nell suggested pointedly, knowing that an intervention would not go well.

"Yeah," He nodded, agreeing with her. "But she wouldn't hit you," He added hopefully. "Come on, think about her future. She could keel over from a sugar induced coma."

"Just drive Deeks," Nell shook her at him despairingly. He was like a racehorse – a one track mind that just kept going round and round the same circle.

"You know what?" He paused, waiting for her to say something.

"What?" She indulged him, feeling like an adult indulging a child.

"We're gonna stop," He pulled off the side of the road and turned off the ignition.

"What are you doing?" She asked, confused and panicked. "Why are we stopping in the middle of nowhere?"

"Because I'm staging a one man intervention slash deprivation," Deeks declared. "It's for Kensi's own good. She can learn to go a few hours without sugar."

"You do realise she will not be happy with you, right?" Nell asked, clarifying what was an established fact. Depriving Kensi of food was a sure fire way to end up in the hospital or morgue.

He shrugged, "When is she?"

"Now I see why people call you two children," Nell muttered, running a hand through her cropped hair. "Okay," She sighed loudly, "If you're going to be like this, can you at least drive ten more miles?"

"Why?" He looked at her suspiciously.

"You'll see when we get there," She answered elusively. If he was going to act like a child, she'd return the favour.

He huffed as he turned the ignition back on and drove back onto the road, "We're not going to get jumped by Sam and Callen are we? This isn't some big practical joke on me is it? Or am I just being paranoid?"

"Yeah," She drew out the word, giving him a strange look.

"Can you blame me?"

She cocked her head, "Not really."

The phone beeped again and Deeks felt like throwing it out the window. "I'm ready to kill that thing."

"I think Sam and Callen would kill you for that."

"I know. That's the only reason that thing is still alive," He grumbled, glaring at it as it beeped again.

Nell glanced out the window, "You can stop here."

He obeyed, pulling over and peering out the windscreen to see a dilapidated park. "Did you plan this?" His eyes widened. "No, you couldn't have. This was my idea. You couldn't have planed this."

Nell took off her seatbelt and jumped down out of the pick-up truck, "I can read."

"What's that got to do with anything?" He hurried to join her, wanting answers.

"There was a sign a few miles back," Nell answered with a small shrug, pulling an empty water bottle out of the car. "If you're going to make us waste time, we might as well be comfortable."

"This place has seen better days," He looked around the park. There was a rusty swing set adjacent to a small, wooden construction with a slide.

"Haven't we all?" Nell mused as she went over to the tap and filled up the water bottle.

"Thanks," Deeks snagged it off her before she could take a sip and gulped down half the bottle. "I was parched."

"Obviously," She said dryly and refilled the bottle. She ambled over and sat on one of the swings. She propelled herself forwards with her feet, swinging like a pendulum. "So do the texts say?"

Deeks fished the phone out of his pocket. He may be ignoring Kensi but he wasn't stupid enough to go without a means of contacting anyone. Who knew what was in the desert. "If you don't get here soon, I'm going to kill you," He read. "Well that can be avoided by not going back at all. Kidding," He added quickly, noting Nell's glance. "And the next one's just asking where we are. No threats. That's odd."

"It's Callen," Nell explained.

"How can you tell?"

"Everyone uses different grammar structures and has specific word choices. It how we identify people sometimes," She said offhandedly. "No big deal."

"We should probably reply to him though. Kensi on my back I can handle, Callen and Sam being mad at me, not so much."

"Tell them Goldilocks is scared of the three bears," Nell offered, still swinging.

"What's that code for?" The detective asked, knowing that the nonsensical sentence had to make sense to someone.

"Callen will know and he won't bother us for a few more hours," She evaded the question.

"Nell," Deeks approached her. "What aren't you telling me?"

"It's nothing," She said quickly. "Nothing important."

"Nell," He repeated, looming beside her. "I have ways of making you talk."

"You're not going to torture me," She rolled her eyes at him and swung even higher.

He grabbed the chain, making her fall forward a little before she caught herself. "Wanna bet?"

"Deeks…"

"Tell me," He ordered, standing over her.

"No."

"Okay then," Deeks took hold of the other chain and started twisting them, spinning Nell in a tight circle. "Are you going to tell me now?"

"No!" She laughed.

"Really?"

"I'll never tell."

"You could've made it easy for yourself," He stepped back and let the chains untangle. Nell was spun in a fast circle, laughing as she twirled through the air. The momentum made her spin in the other direction. Deeks grabbed the chain again and starting twisting it. "I'm gonna keep doing this till you tell me."

"I'll be sick," She pointed out.

"I'll have my answer," He countered.

"Fine," She sighed, giving in. "It's a code for the team. Goldilocks is you,"

"Not an obvious codename at all," Deeks rolled his eyes.

"The three bears refers to Sam, Callen and Eric. It was the three little pigs but Callen made me change it."

"What's Kensi?" He couldn't help the grin rising on his face.

"Rapunzel," Nell looked up at him. "And I'm little red riding hood."

"Wow, Hetty must have been having an off day when she came up with those."

She glanced back down at the ground. "It was me."

"Seriously?"

"Yes," She shrugged. "It was better than the number system there was before I came. You were zero then."

"I think I prefer Goldilocks," Deeks commented.

"I thought so," She gave him a small smile.

"Come on," He offered her a hand up. "We'd better get moving or Mama and Papa bear will eat us."

"What about baby bear?"

"Eric doesn't have that much of a bite."

A/N: This was originally supposed to be Sam and Nell shopping but I got writers block and came up with this on the swing instead. Nell and Deeks actually going shopping next chapter is much funnier, I promise. I nearly fell over from laughing too hard when I came up with the idea. I just had to split it because it would be way too long. Tell me what you think of this one please!


	14. Swing and Miss Part Two

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and favourites. I don't know why this story is so popular. I love all of you!

Swing and Miss Part 2

"I bet Kensi sent me because she knows I don't do shopping," Deeks grumbled, leaning against a shelf as Nell picked out the various loafs of bread they needed for a week.

"I'm sure that's the reason," Nell said dryly, glancing up at him.

"Hey, don't roll your eyes at me Missy," He told her, following her like a puppy as she moved slowly down the aisle. "You have no idea how vindictive she can be. Though you're a girl, so you probably have some idea."

"Thanks, I think."

"I mean, Kensi has all these feminie wiles she keeps using and when that doesn't work, she kicks more ass than Sam so basically, I'm screwed."

"Yeah, probably should have thought about that _before_ you pulled over to stage an intervention."

"I'm so totally screwed – ooh poptarts," The rows of blue boxes caught his eye, distracting the detective.

"You do realise how much sugar is in those, don't you?" The analyst raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, but they're delicious and nutritious," Deeks retorted, dropping a half a dozen boxes into the trolley.

"Don't you think you're kinda tempting Kensi?" Nell asked leadingly. "Since you want to save her from her addiction."

"I'll keep them in my room," He shrugged. "She'll never know. And just because she can't control herself, doesn't mean I have to suffer."

"If you keep them in your room, Eric will eat them," She told him.

"Baby Bear will just have to keep his paws off my poptarts," Deeks said in a matter of fact tone, squaring his shoulders as if preparing for a fight.

Nell turned to face him, poking him with her index finger, "You cannot tell anyone about that."

"Hey, chill. It will be our little secret," He grinned at her. "Relax."

"Okay," She let out a breath and took her hand away. "We need to get pasta." She backed away, nearly running into a shop assistant, "Sorry."

"It's ok," The blonde smiled at her and proceeded to continue stacking shelves.

Deeks turned his head, taking a good long look at the attractive shop assistant. "I think shopping has just become my favourite past time." He grinned broadly as the young blonde in her twenties looked up to reveal pearly white teeth. Deeks leant down and whispered to Nell, "Ok, you're my baby sister and I'm the best big brother in the world."

"Are you playing her?" Nell looked up at him, aghast.

"It's just flirting, perfectly harmless," He told her cavalierly. "Besides, I'm a dead man. Help a dying man die happy?" He gave her the smouldering puppy dog eyes.

She sighed, "Fine. But I'm not lying to her."

"That's fine," He told her quickly, using his peripheral vision to watch the blonde woman bend down to restack the bottom shelf. "Just remember that your husband died six months ago and your lovely brother James is helping you look after your four rugrats." He walked away before she could reply, leaving her standing in the empty aisle, watching him walk away.

"Hi, how can I help you?" She smiled, brown eyes giving them the elevator glance. Her smile broadened; she obviously liked what she saw.

"Hi," Deeks ambled over and leant on the counter, "I'm in need of a lot of help."

"Then you've come to the right person," She stood up, smoothing out her jeans, "What can I do for you?"

"Okay so," He rubbed his hands together. "My sister, that's her over there," He pointed to Nell who'd moved further down the aisle but was still within hearing range, "and I have this bet. She thinks that I can't buy her kids the best Christmas presents under 10 bucks each. Can you help me be right for once?"

The blonde looked up at him from under her fringe, "Aren't men the ones that are always right?"

"Normally I'd say yes but my baby sister got the brains in the family. I just got the good looks," He tossed her a charming, self deprecating smile.

She tucked a loose strand behind her ear and glanced sideways, "I wouldn't say that."

"Aww, aren't you sweet," He drawled, still smiling. "Well, I'm actually doing this to cheer her up; she's had a bad year."

"Alright then, we'll start in the toy aisle," The woman started walking and Deeks followed, appreciating the view. "So how many kids are we talking about?"

"Four," Deeks answered, thinking on his feet. "Kensi, Sam, Callen and Eric." As he passed Nell, he noticed her shoulder's shaking with barely controlled mirth. "You okay Nelsie?"

She stopped laughing and narrowed her eyes at him, "Don't call me that."

"You've got a good brother here," The shop assistant told her.

"Yeah," Nell smiled at her. "The best I've got."

"I'm going to go get the kids' presents, no peaking okay Nelsie?"

"Be quick, we have to get back to the kids," She emphasised the word, looking pointedly at him. If the other founds out, it wouldn't just be Kensi that would be angry with him. "Wouldn't want them to get worried about their favourite uncle."

"No, no we wouldn't want that."

"If you just follow me," The blonde interrupted them in a polite tone. "I'll get you sorted out right away."

"I bet you will," Deeks said, his tone slightly suggestive. He waggled his fingers at Nell and almost skipped after the shop assistant. "So," He drawled, falling into step beside her, "What were you thinking of?"

"Well, what kid doesn't like a water pistol?"

Deeks blinked at the thought of the Navy SEAL and his partner armed with water pistols. He'd never be safe. "Great idea," He lied, gulping a little at the thought.

"I know right," She didn't catch his tone and kept on cheerfully talking, "and water just dries so there's no mess for your sister to clean up."

"She'll love that," He said dryly, still focusing on how many ways Kensi would surprise him and kill with the toy guns. "Is there anything you know, less violent maybe?"

"Oh," Her face fell a little. "Is your sister one of those no violent games moms?"

"A little yeah," Deeks nodded. "Her ex was an army guy and he screwed her over so she's really any guns at the moment."

"That's ok. I totally understand. What about these?" She pulled out a set of children's tennis rackets and colour coordinates balls.

"They look like they could hurt," He looked at them, imagining how much pain they could cause when being thrown by a two hundred pound angry agent.

"True," She conceded his point. "What about the t-ball set? Those balls are soft."

"The bat isn't," His eyes narrowed at the hard, wood bat. "The kids are pretty full on sometimes."

"And Marty is their favourite target," Nell walked up to them, pushing a trolley full of groceries. "You ready to go?"

"I'll take the water pistols, thanks," Deeks said to the shop assistant. "And random question, what time do you get off?"

"I'm sorry, I don't do that," The blonde stepped back. "I'll be at the counter when you're ready to buy."

"That almost never happens," Deeks said immediately, watching the blonde retreat. He always got the girl.

"Of course," Nell nodded, agreeing with him in a mocking tone. "Now can we go home?"

"Yeah," He said and grabbed 6 water pistols of various sizes and put them on top of the groceries. "What?" He asked at her quizzical expression. "I have to keep up appearances. It's all part of good undercover work. We keep our cover till the very end." He pulled the trolley out of her hands and started wheeling it to the front of the store. "I'm the charming brother until we get home."

"Then you're the dead man," Nell supplied happily, walking beside him.

"Then I'm the dead man," He repeated, nodding, accepting his fate. "Pretty much goes with the day I've had."

"Was it really that bad?"

"She knocked me back! It's kinda insulting." Deeks fell silent as they approached the checkout, not wanting to be overheard.

"Hi," The blonde smiled at them.

"Hi again," Deeks replied tightly as he and Nell put the groceries and water pistols on the check out's conveyer belt.

"So," She looked at Nell, "I get a lunchbreak in half an hour, we could, you know, get coffee and talk about how men are such losers." She smiled seductively.

"Wait, what?" Deeks looked between the two women. "Oh my God."

"I love kids," she continued, "so that part's not a problem and I think your brother was wrong – you got the brains and the beauty."

"Oh. Um," Nell didn't know what to say. She wasn't used to being hit on like that. "That's really um… sweet of you to say."

"But we really have to get back to the kids," Deeks cut in and handed the shop assistant a couple of rolled up twenties, grabbed the shopping bags and walked quickly out of the store. Nell hurried after him. "Ok, that really never ever happens," He said as soon as they were out of the store. "Normally my gaydar works perfectly fine. Oh my god, I can't believe that happened."

"Deeks, breathe," Nell told him, trying to calm him down.

"Please don't tell Kensi about this. She'll never let me forget it. Please Nell, I'll do anything."

"Anything?"

A/N: This didn't turn out exactly how I wanted but I hope it's ok.


	15. Swing and Miss Part Three

**A/N: So thanks for all the reviews/alerts/favourites etc. I don't know why you like this so much but I'm glad you do!**

Swing and Miss Part 3

Kensi paced the living room, behaving like a caged animal. "I'm going to kill him."

"You've said that," Callen dropped the frayed sofa cushion on his head. He lay on the couch, feet hanging over the edge. Everyone had forsaken the idea of sleep since Kensi's sugar craving kicked in.

"Multiple times," Sam added with a fake smile as he turned the page of a month old newspaper at the kitchen table. "I think everyone gets the idea."

She whirled around to face them, "You don't have to sound so patronising, you know."

"You don't have to act so crazy," Eric mumbled a little too loud. At the silence in the room, he looked up to see three pairs of eyes staring at him- one brown pair with mirth, one blue with sympathy and one mismatched pair with fury. "Did I say that aloud?" His own blue eyes widened as he contemplated his death.

Callen smirked into the cushion, glad it was hiding his expression. He didn't want Kensi angry at him too. "Nice knowing you Eric."

"What do you mean 'crazy'?" Kensi waggled her fingers at the word, storming to stand over the tech who was lying on the floor.

"I ah," Eric fumbled for words and pushed himself up into a sitting position, "I um meant that…"

"Spit it out," Sam nodded encouragingly. It was always entertaining to see how he dug himself out of the hole the tech had created. Or how far he dug himself in.

"It's just doughnuts," Eric looked up at the agent. "I mean, it could have been worse."

Kensi gave him a glare that he swore gave him sunburn, "I'm stuck in a house with everyone practically sitting on top of each other, I haven't talked to any of my friends in weeks and I'm pissed off. And Deeks ate my doughnuts. How can it get any worse?" She threw her arms up in the air and the three men stared at her, not sure how to approach her. "And don't look at me like that!"

Eric scrambled to his feet, "I think I'm gonna go to my room." He speed walked out of the living room, careful to avoid Kensi's eyes.

Callen watched him leave then switched his gaze to his partner who was making frantic eyes at him. They communicated silently, arguing about who would speak up first.

"When you two are done making eyes at each other, can one of you tell me where the phone is?" Kensi stood in front of them, arms folded.

"It's an emergency phone Kens," Callen said slowly, not wanting to say no outright.

"Used for emergencies," Sam clarified unnecessarily.

"It is an emergency," She huffed, glaring at the two unhelpful partners. "Deeks is late. He could have gotten lost or runaway to escape his punishment."

"Punishment?" Callen quirked an eyebrow, sitting up slowly. "Don't you think that's a bit excessive?"

Her eyes widened then narrowed, "You're on his side."

"No one's on anyone's side," Callen shook his head.

"There are no sides," Sam interjected. "It's not war."

"Alls fair in love, war and chocolate," She argued.

"They were doughnuts, not chocolate," Callen pointed out the flaw in her logic. "And you mutated the quote."

"The point still applies," She glowered at him and turned to leave. "You two are useless. I'm going to my room. Call me when-" Something hidden under the coffee table caught her eye. She leapt over the sofa and scooped it up before Callen could stop her. "Under the coffee table? Seriously? That's hardly a good hiding spot."

"Well if we left it on the table, Eric would break it when he put his feet up," Callen retorted, watching her text. "What are you sending him?"

"A token of my affection," Kensi answered in a saccharine voice, tossing the brick phone to Sam. "I'm going to bed. Wake me when Deeks and Nell get back."

"What did she say to him?" Callen asked eagerly.

Sam brought up the sent message, "'If you don't get here soon, I'm going to kill you.' That's gonna make him come back faster."

"Ask where they are," His partner suggested. "Kensi was right- they've been gone a while."

"Do you think Deeks has driven Nell mad yet?" Sam asked as he texted.

"Nah," Callen tossed aside the concern. "Nell puts up with Eric; she can handle Deeks." They fell into silence, Callen staring off into space and Sam rereading the old newspaper. The silence in the house felt strange but it was so uncommon, they welcomed it graciously.

The silence was interrupted by the cell phone's text alert. Sam snatched it up and pulled a face as he read the message. "I think someone's drunk."

"Why?" Callen sat up and looked over the sofa's arm.

"Goldilocks is scared of the three bears," Sam read, his voice showing his confusion.

"Nell's using code," Callen explained with a nonchalant shrug and laid back down. "They're fine. Deeks is being smart and staying away a little longer."

"You got all that from seven words?" Sam raised an eyebrow at his partner even though Callen had shut his eyes and couldn't see.

"I don't have to be verbose to get my point across."

"I know. I still don't understand the code. Why don't I know about it?"

Callen sighed and sat up again, "It's a new thing. Nell didn't like the number system we had in place, said it was too easy to hack or something so she changed it."

Sam frowned, trying to understand. "So that message is our code names?"

"Some of us," Callen tried to dodge the question. He knew where this was going.

"So what's your code name?" Sam asked, aiming to lead his partner into telling him his own code name. "I mean Deeks is obviously Goldilocks." 

"Obviously," Callen echoed dryly.

"You're avoiding the question," Sam realised quickly.

"Yep."

"What are you, the wicked witch? Or is that Hetty?"

"Nah, she's the fairy godmother."

Sam chuckled, "I can just imagine someone trying to read a report with these code names. They'd think it was made up by some crazy kid or something."

"That's why Hetty kept them. Plausible deniability. Anyway," Callen stood up and stretched. "I'm going to go for a run."

"You just don't wanna answer my question."

"Yep." He didn't bother to deny it as he walked out the door. 

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

The second Kensi heard the car pull up to the house, she ran out of the room she and Nell shared and sprinted outside. "Where are they?"

Deeks got out of the car as slowly as possible, drawing out every single movement. "Do you think she's talking about us, Nell?"

The redhead rolled her eyes, "They're in the backseat Kensi."

"You are amazing Nell," Kensi told her as she opened the backdoor and grabbed the paper bag containing her treat.

"Hello, what am I? The driver?" Deeks slammed the door as if to emphasise his point.

"Deeks," Nell chided gently. "Don't start a fight."

"It's always my fault, isn't it?" He sighed, looking at his blissful partner as she inhaled the doughnut. "After all the trouble I went to to get that, you're not even going to savour it?"

Her mismatched eyes narrowed dangerously at him, "I'm making sure you don't eat it."

"Is that why you eat everything in sight? So I don't get it first?" He was teasing her. Kinda. A four hour drive and the day from hell had put him a cranky mood. "That's kinda selfish Kens."

"Anyway," Nell clapped her hands together, overtly attempting to quell their rising argument. "Let's put the groceries away, shall we?"

"Excellent idea," Callen strode over and opened the boot. "Did you guys bring the entire shop back with you?"

"I bet Deeks tried to bring the pretty shop assistant back, didn't you?" Kensi smirked at her partner, still ribbing him.

Nell tried to hide a giggle but failed while Deeks shrugged cavalierly, putting on an act. He was never going to let her find out what happened. It would eviscerate him. "She wasn't my type." He glared at Nell as she let out another giggle.

"I'm sensing there's more to the story than that," Callen said, looking between the analyst and the detective. "But it can wait till everything's in the house." He reached to grab a bag but Deeks pushed his arm out of the way.

"I've got that one," The detective said with more vigour than necessary.

Callen gave him an odd look but shook it off. Deeks was always weird. 

"What have you got in there?" Kensi leant over and tried to peak inside the grey plastic bag.

"Nothing," Deeks pulled it hurriedly out of her reach and gaze.

"If it's nothing, why won't you show me?" Kensi lunged at him.

He danced out of her reach, "Because it's none of your business."

"I'm your partner," She retorted. "You're my business."

"Sometimes this is better than pay TV," Callen commented as he hauled the rest of the shopping into the house.

"Wait till you hear what happened today."

A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates and the suckiness of this one. Real life interrupted and writer's block is creeping in. Anyone have any ideas as to what other troubles the team can get into?


	16. One By One

A/N: Thank you for all your reviews and suggestions! I would have replied but it's called the silly season for a reason. (And not just the weather being silly – honestly I'm half convinced Australia is now located in Britain because of the weather) Anyway, enough ranting. I hope you like this. It's a bit different.

**One By One, Part 1**

The harsh wind battered the wood walls of the old house, edging its way through cracks and gaps. Cold air ran through the house. The fire in the rusted fireplace flickered as the air moved around it. Callen glanced up at the momentary loss of light, surveying the room then going back to the book he'd read five times during their 'holiday'. He could pretty much recite it verbatim but it was the only thing to do at one am if he didn't want his partner to get angry.

Floorboards creaked and the wind whistled as it travelled down the hall. "You should be asleep," Callen said, not looking up. He could tell the minute difference between footsteps and floorboards moving.

"Kensi's a blanket hog," Nell explained, moving into the fireplace's glow. She sat down next to the fire – almost too close. "And it's freezing."

"So you're gonna sleep out here?" He guessed her plan.

"Better than pissing off Kensi," She nodded, lying down on the ground. "And it's warm," She added as an afterthought and yawned.

"Do you want a blanket?" Callen asked, watching the tiny redhead curl up on herself, forming a ball of bright pink flannel.

"Nah," She drawled, voice trailing off slightly as sleep claimed her. She seemed perfectly content to sleep on the hardwood floor.

Callen shook his head at her, leaving her be and returning to his book. He probably would have done the same thing.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Eric stumbled down the corridor, rubbing bleary eyes and nearly stumbling into the wall as he misjudged the distance between himself and the unmovable bricks. "Ow."

Callen's blue eyes flicked up, "You okay?"

"Deeks is horrible to sleep with," The tech replied, squinting to see who was talking. Without glasses he felt blind but he wasn't going to risk waking the sleeping dragon that was Deeks to reclaim his glasses. "That wasn't supposed to sound dirty," He added, knowing Callen would be smirking in his direction.

"I know. Still did," The older agent didn't bother to hide his amusement. It was amazing what a tired adult could say- and how it could be misinterpreted. "Deeks and Kensi make good partners."

"Huh?" Eric's unintelligible grunt came a few seconds later than expected.

"Nell said Kensi was a blanket hog," Callen explained, waving to the redhead sleeping on the floor.

"Oh," Eric squinted again, edging forward to identify the pink and red mass next to the fire. "Didn't see her there."

"You're not seeing much of anything, are you?" Callen asked, recalling the time he'd tried on Eric's glasses and given himself a migraine of epic proportions because of their strength.

"Not really, no," He shook his head. "I think I might sit for a bit. Get warm before going back," He slid down the back of the sofa, ending up sitting on the floor next to Nell. "Deeks' feet are freezing."

"That's too much information," Callen said immediately. He had no desire to learn that sort of details about his team mates.

"TMI," Eric said tiredly.

"What?"

"Too much information."

"That's what I said."

"I know. Just bringing you into this century."

"Are you calling me old?" Callen frowned.

The only answer was a slight snore from the floor below.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

"Is there a slumber party no one invited me to?"

Callen jumped at Sam's voice over his shoulder. Sam was one of the few people that could sneak up on his undetected. "Nope," He answered, glancing over his shoulder to look at his partner. "And in his defence, Eric did start sitting up."

"Yeah, that went well," Sam drawled sarcastically looking pointedly at the tech, who was lying on his side, one arm slung over Nell and holding her close to him. "Did Deeks put out mistletoe that no one spotted until now?"

"They're asleep. No harm done," Callen shrugged.

"I wish I had a camera. Wipe that smug grin off his face for once."

"Tell me about it."

Sam climbed over his sleeping colleagues and sat on the sofa, "Why didn't they take the sofa?"

"Maybe they knew you were coming and decided to be nice so they didn't have to listen to you whine about your sore back all day tomorrow," Callen suggested dryly, teasing his partner.

"That was one time," Sam objected, waggling a finger in the air, "and I'd just been hit by a car. I think I'm allowed to say 'ow'."

"Once or thrice but not hundred times in a minute," His partner replied coolly. "And you were grazed by the car. You jumped over it. Exaggerating isn't cool."

"I'm not arguing with you," Sam shook his head and swung his legs onto the sofa, letting his feet dangle over the edge. "I'll just bask in the knowledge that I am right, and you are wrong. Again."

"Pretty sure you have that the wrong way around."

"Shut up and let me sleep."

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Kensi awoke tangled up in the blanket like she was stuck in a cocoon. "Nell?" She asked, keeping her voice low. She glanced over looking for her friend but couldn't see her. Wiggling her way out of the tangle she'd created, Kensi sat up and wondered where Nell was. It wasn't like the redhead to disappear in the middle of the night. It wasn't like this was a high school camp and secret trysts to be had. They were responsible adults. Or at least some of them were.

Frowning slightly, Kensi made her way down the corridor, trying to skip over the creaky floorboards. The last thing she wanted to do was wake Deeks- he needed his beauty sleep. But in his case, it should have been more accurately called anti-idiot sleep. She paused in the doorway. And smiled at the sight that greeted her. Callen was asleep in his chair, book discarded in his lap. Nell and Eric were a tangled mess of limbs and the only way she could distinguish between them was by the colour clothes they were wearing. Sam was stretched out on the couch, dozing peacefully. Or so she thought.

"You going to stare all night?"

"No," She pouted and ambled into the room. "My room's too cold." She didn't voice the secret voice in her head that said it was because she wanted to stay with her friends. She was sick of being alone, on the outside, looking in. But she had no idea how to say that.

"Mine too," Sam smiled at her knowingly. Sometimes he was more psychic than Hetty – and that was an achievement. "You can always kick Eric if he gets too fresh."

"I think he's got his hands full," She couldn't help but smile as she looked at the redhead and the blonde wrapped up in each other's arms. Nell was facing him, her head tucked under his chin. They looked like a postcard for young love at Christmas. She lay down next to them. "Goodnight Sam."

"Goodnight Kensi."

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Deeks stretched in the early morning light. Any sensible person would still be asleep in the dawn hours but he was a surfer. They defied laws of gravity, sane sleeping and sanity in general every day. And habit was hard to break. Running a hand through his hair, his version of brushing his blonde mop, he strode down the corridor to the kitchen/dinning/living area intending to find something edible. He whistled lightly as he walked, then stopped and grinned at the group of sleeping people in the lounge room. "That is just too good."

Practically skipping back to his room, Deeks jumped to the ground, skidding under the bed, and grabbed his secret weapon. They would have no idea what hit them. "This is gonna be awesome."

A/N: Happy Christmas Eve Guys! I hope you like this. I don't know when the next chapter will be up. I've started a new project- a modern Merlin AU, if that means anything to anyone- and that's taking up what's left of my brain. I will finish this soon though. Happy Holidays everyone!


	17. They All Fall Down

Deeks stretched in the early morning light. Any sensible person would still be asleep in the dawn hours but he was a surfer. They defied laws of gravity, sane sleeping and sanity in general every day. And habit was hard to break. Running a hand through his hair, his version of brushing his blonde mop, he strode down the corridor to the kitchen/dinning/living area intending to find something edible. He whistled lightly as he walked, then stopped and grinned at the group of sleeping people in the lounge room. "That is just too good."

Practically skipping back to his room, Deeks jumped to the ground, skidding under the bed, and grabbed his secret weapon. They would have no idea what hit them. "This is gonna be awesome."

He stretched, craning for the boxes he'd hidden in the dark under the headboard. He'd been waiting for an opportunity like this for days. It wasn't like he often got the chance to put one over his teammates. His street smarts were good but they were no match for the combination of streets marts _and_ training the others had. He wrapped his fingers around the edge of one of the boxes and used them as leverage to pull all six of them towards him.

"Lock and load baby," He grinned like the cat that caught the canary and opened the first box

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Sam dozed fitfully in the pale sunlight, ignoring Eric's reverberating snores and Kensi's constant tossing. Years of sleeping beside snoring sailors had taught him the art of sleeping through the worst of snorers. He'd always liked the early morning- the calm before whatever storm they had to persevere began. Mornings were relaxing. Mornings were for quite contemplation about what nice surprises the day would bring. A sudden jetstrream of cold water hit him in the face. He opened his eyes, wiping them dry with a hand. That was not a nice surprise. "Deeks," He growled, glaring at the blonde detective who was currently running around the room like a child on Christmas morning. If the child was spraying his friends with a hot-pink, high pressured water pistol.

"Hasta la vista baby," He crowed, spraying Callen until he was soaked. "Boom, who's the boss now? Huh?"

"What the hell Deeks?" Kensi looked up at her partner, her face a mixture of anger, shock and surprise.

"Good morning," He said jovially, resting the water pistol on his shoulder. "How did you like your wakeup call?"

"Ah, not very much," Eric pulled himself to his feet, wringing out his shirt.

Callen tore his now wet t-shirt off, "What was that for?"

"Meh," Deeks shrugged nonchalantly. "I felt like it."

"So you haven't been planning this since we bought those water-pistols?" Nell asked as she sat cross legged on the ground, stretching and stifling a yawn.

Kensi whirled on the redhead, "You let him buy water-pistols?"

"That's what those boxes are?" Eric asked at the same time, eyes wide with realisation.

"Hey, I don't need permission to buy things!" Deeks objected to the wording of his partner's questioning. "I am my own man."

"He bought them because he was hitting on the gay shop assistant."

Deeks paled, "You promised."

"You woke me up," Nell retorted harshly.

"Deeks is gay?" Callen asked, not entirely following the conversation

"What? NO!" Deeks waved his hands, almost dropping his water pistol. "I am not gay. She was gay."

"Deeks tried to hit on her, she rejected him because she was gay," Nell explained with a small smile, looking up at the four people standing around glaring at each other. "It was a simple misunderstanding."

"A humiliating misunderstanding," Kensi corrected, her glare turning to a gleeful expression. The teasing for this one would wear out for a while. Deeks always said he had an impenetrable 'gaydar'.

"Which is why I'd hoped you'd never find out," Deeks said, sending a venomous glare at Nell.

The petite girl just shrugged, "You woke me up."

"That doesn't make it even!"

The sound of running feet pounding the floorboards made them all turn to face the corridor.

"Haha suckers!" Eric roared, pumping the water pistol before spraying them all.

"Eric!"

"How many more of those things are there?" Sam growled, again wiping his eyes dry so he could see.

"Four more," Deeks said with a little shrug. "It was supposed to be a Christmas thing but I forgot."

"So there's one for each of us?" Callen asked for clarification, doing the numbers in his head.

"Give the man a prize," Eric drawled dryly, shooting a stream of water at the senior agent. "Four plus two equals six and there's six of us."

"Not for much longer," Kensi declared, giving Deeks a meaningful glare.

He gulped at the implicit threat, "Kensi…"

"Deeks," She gave him a saccharine smile that made his stomach drop. He was a dead man.

He glanced to where Callen and Sam had been a few seconds ago. "Where did they go?"

"Oh crap," Kensi groaned and sprinted to the door. While she'd been distracted by Deeks' infuriating actions, the senior agents had left the room. And there was only one place they'd go. "And I had to be wearing white."

Deeks followed her immediately, working out her plan – get the hell out of dodge. They had a better chance of escaping if they were in an open area. "What's wrong with white? It looks like a desert back here; you'll blend it alright."

She turned on him, looking at him like he was missing a few brain cells. "White shirt and water- what usually happens when the two are mixed?"

"Wet T-shirt contest," He realised, a grin growing on his face.

"Don't look so happy about it. This is all your fault," Kensi hissed, glaring at him angrily. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and started dragging him along the side of the house.

"I know. I couldn't have planned this better if I tried," He couldn't keep the goofy grin off his face. It wasn't his fault his partner was insanely attractive.

"If I get wet, you're gonna be in so much trouble."

Deeks shrugged, "You say that like it's different from normal."

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Nell slid underneath the couch – it seemed the safest spot at the moment even if she would have trouble getting out later. "Why did you do that?"

"Why not?" Eric grinned from his place at the sink. He was filling up the water pistol, just waiting for round 3 to begin. "Besides me and water pistols go way back. My crowning glory of eighth grade was shooting the grade bully in the face. Shooting with water, obviously," He added quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea.

"Obviously," She echoed dryly. "But you do realise you're going up against federal agents who shoot things most days."

"Hey," Callen objected as he ambled down the hall, water pistol hanging loosely in his hand. "Not most days. And it's not our fault. Blame the bad guys- they start it."

"Who starts what?" Sam asked, following his partner's footsteps.

"The bad guys shoot at us first," Callen explained quickly. "And what are you doing under there?" He glanced down at the sofa where a pale foot was poking out from underneath the faded wooden leg.

There was a slight pause. "Hiding," Nell answered in a quiet voice, slowly realising her actions weren't as smart as she'd thought.

Sam couldn't help but chuckle, "Bad place Nell. You've trapped yourself."

"Oh."

"Rookie mistake," Callen added, crouching down to face her. "And you know what comes next?"

"Yes," She squirmed, trying to get out from under the sofa, wiggling to the other side. Nell closed her eyes just in time to get a face full of water.

"Dude, come on," Eric intervened on her behalf. "She didn't do anything to you."

"She let Deeks buy them," Callen explained, standing back up. "Accessory after the fact."

"Or co-conspirator," Sam added with a small shrug. "And you two should know better than to hide somewhere without an escape."

Eric rolled his eyes, "It's a water fight, not war. Our lives don't depend on this."

"Oh but they do," Callen said darkly. "Or at least Deeks' does." He looked to his partner, "You take the front, I'll take the back and we'll corner him?"

The Navy Seal nodded and walked out the front door. Callen mimicked his actions in reverse, sliding out the back door like he was about to lay siege on an unsuspecting terrorist.

"You know I almost feel sorry for Deeks," Eric commented lightly, watching Callen disappear into the early morning shadows.

Nell shimmied her way out from under the sofa, "Wanna watch?"

"Of course," He grinned and ran towards the kitchen window.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Kensi darted between the shadows cast by the house, trying to stay hidden. Unfortunately for her staying hidden would be hard considering she had Deeks with her and he wouldn't shut up.

"So, I'll take Callen and you take Sam?"

She rolled her eyes, "It would be so nice to have a gun right now."

"I should have thought of that," Deeks' eyes widened with realisation. "You don't have a water pistol."

"Why'd you think I ran out of there?" She asked in a 'duh' tone like she was talking to an idiot.

"Tactical retreat?" He guessed.

Kensi shook her head at him, "You are so lucky to have me as a partner. I can't believe you lasted this long without the ability to form a coherent plan."

"Hey, I can plan. And I have an amazingly charismatic personality that makes my job so much easier."

"You also have an amazingly loud mouth," Sam appeared behind them, startling them both. Deeks gallantly stepped in front of Kensi as Sam shot at them. She took the opportunity to run, laughing as she did so.

"Run Deeks! Run!" She giggled, darting around the back of the house. She rounded the corner and collided with Callen, sending them both tumbling to the ground. Kensi rolled off him and grabbed the water pistol that had fallen out of his hand. "Ha!" She crowed, spraying him as she stood up. "Got you!"

"Hey, that's not fair," Callen pouted.

"Don't be a sore loser Callen," She replied, giving him a hand up then shaking it dry. "You're just jealous I got the jump on you."

"It was an accident. Luck."

"Sheer dumb luck," A strangely all too familiar voice spoke and made them all freeze, "is something that has killed many agents in the past and apparently will in the future."

Callen turned on the spot as Sam and Deeks ran over to them. "Hetty?"


	18. The Rabbit Hole

Chapter 18: The Rabbit Hole

Callen turned on the spot as Sam and Deeks ran over to them. "Hetty?"

"Agent Callen," The diminuitative opperations manager eyed her team leader. "I was under the impression that I was visiting a team of highly skilled, responcible federal agents. Not a bunch of hooligan teenagers!"

"Hetty," Callen started after a momentary pause. Her surprise visit had caught him off guard- and caught all of them in a bad position. "I can explain…"

"And I look forward to that Mr Callen, after," She paused, keen eyes flickering to the shivering Deeks and Kensi, "you go inside so you children don't get pneumonia."

"Have I mentioned how much I've missed your beautiful words of wisdom, Hetty?" Deeks smiled broadly and took a step towards her.

"March, Mr Deeks," Hetty ordered, pointing to the front door. "Now."

"It's amazing," Sam said quietly to Callen as they trudged to the door, "That one word from Hetty can shut him up when a dozen threats from us do nothing."

"Because Mr Hanna, one word from me is even better than a threat," Hetty supplied from her position at the rear of the group. "And if that's true, you need to work on your delivery."

"Nell! Eric!" Deeks threw open the door and it bounced off the wall. "We've got a visitor."

Eric walked out of his room in a dry hoodie and jeans. The only indication he'd been involved in the water fight was his damp hair. "Hetty. Please tell us you're here to take us home."

"Indeed I am," Hetty nodded and smiled.

"Oh thank god," He groaned, throwing his head back. "I was about to kill someone."

"Everything's okay?" Kensi asked, blinking in surprise. It had been two months since thye'd heard anything from the outside world. Two months of only seeing the team. "You caught them?"

"Yes," Hetty nodded again. "NCIS in Florida caught them operating out of a boat that was travelling up and down the coast."

"We can go home? Our identies aren't compromised any more?" Callen quirried, erring on the side of caution.

"No. In fact you can leave as soon as you've packed."

"Thank you Hetty," Nell appeared, carrying a stack of towels, which she passed to Deeks to pass around the soaking people.

" I couldn't very well have my best people out of the game now, could I?"

"We're the best?" Deeks glanced up, a smug smile on his face.

"She wasn't talking to you," Kensi side swiped him, nudging him in the ribs.

"Well she wasn't talking to you," He retorted, shaking his shaggy hair out and spraying all of them with water. "And I'm going to pack."

"We're actually going home, now aren't we?" Nell asked like she didn't really believe it.

"Yep," Eric nodded. "And we're going to have the biggest WoW marathon ever. After I don't see any of you for like, a week. No offense."

"Two weeks," Sam amended. "And no offense taken."

"What makes you think you're not seeing each other?" Hetty asked in a suspiciously curious tone, as though she already knew the answer. "You have to work together."

"You're not seriously going to send us back to work straight away?" Eric deadpanned, jaw dropping in a comical manner.

"We've just spent months living with each other," Kensi objected with a begging look in her eye. "Hetty please…"

"I told you I was taking you home," Hetty shrugged.

"I'm going to have so many facebook notifications, it will take me at least a week to sort through them all," Eric complained, vainly hoping that she would take pity on them.

"I just want to go home and not hear people talk or snore all night. Hetty, please. You know what they're like," Sam joined in the begging.

"The more you complain, the more paperwork is pilling up on your desk," Hetty warned them.

"Fine," Kensi pouted – the first one to succumb to the famous Hetty glare. "I'll go pack then."

"Can we like not have to see each toehr?" Eric asked, his tone more hopefull than a child begging for presents on Christmas eve.

"Come on," Nell grabbed his wrist and pulled him away. "You're stuff's all over the place. It's gonna take you hours to pack." Sam followed them, knowing that Callen and Hetty wanted to talk.

"So we're your favourites?" Callen leant against the wall and smirked.

"Mr Callen, did I ever let you think otherwise?"

"No. But it's still good to hear once in a while."

"I'll put it in my diary," Hetty's lips curved itno a smile. "You know, my budget was actually in the black these last few weeks."

"Well, we'll have to fix that, won't we?" Callen brushed past her and walked into the room he'd shared with Sam.

"No you won't."

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

Hetty stood in the middle of the living room and looked around, evaluating it. Aside from the water coating a myriad of surfaces, there were no traces or indentifying markers in the room. Her team had kept their wits for the most part.

"We're all packed," Kensi ambled into the room, fingers dug deeply into her pockets. "The guys are just trying to put everything in the car."

"Is it fitting?" The older woman asked with mirth. The sheer amount of stuff they'd accumulated was proving difficult to get in the car and allow room for them all.

"Nell's making sure it does," Kensi smiled and gave a one shouldered shrug. "It'll fit eventually. Even if we have to tie Deeks to the roof."

"So," Hetty strung out the word and took a step forward. "How was the vacation?"

"It was," Kensi struggled to find a fitting word. "Interesting."

"You learnt more about your team?"

She nodded. "More than I needed to."

"Good," Hetty nodded again, another smile on her lips. "This will make you better in the long run."

"Yeah," Kensi scoffed. "What doesn't kill you, right?"

"Exactly."

"We did it," Deeks crowed as he walked in, followed by the rest of the team.

"Everything fits," Callen explained. "And we didn't even have to put Deeks on the roof."

"Pity," Sam muttered loudly.

Hetty ran a finger under the old mantle piece above the fireplace, tutting at the amount of dust and dirt. "I should have known none of you would clean up after your-" She paused as her fingers glided over something smooth that was definitely not wood. "What is this?" She inquired, pulling a manila envelope from the underside, tape and all.

Nell's eye's widened and she sprinted across the room. "No, that's nothing."

"Then why are you turning red?" Deeks asked, ambling over to read over Hetty's shoulder.

The analyst skidded to a stop a few inches before her boss. "Hetty."

"Privacy is a gift in this world," Hetty looked the coltish girl in the eye then handed over the envelope.

"And in this team, non-existent," Deeks yanked it out of her hands and tore it open. Instant polarioids fluttered to the floor, each one of them photos of the team from the last few months. Deeks paled as he recognised one of him and Kensi from the night they all got very, very drunk. "Oh crap."

Hetty glanced down curiously at the photos. "Oh my. What have you been up to? Actually," She held up her hand. "Don't tell me. Ignorance is bliss in this case, I think."

A/N: So this is the end of On The Run. I know not everything is tied up with a pretty ribbon – that's what you're imagination is for. Anyway, I hope you liked this story :D I had fun writing it. Thank you for all your reviews and comments. They mean so much.


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